


Can You Paint with All the Colors You Can't Even Name?

by Zaxaryah



Series: Mono-Poly AU [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, mentions of self harm, mild blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14293083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaxaryah/pseuds/Zaxaryah
Summary: HakYeon is positive that TaekWoon is his soul mate; TaekWoon is positive that he’s straight.





	1. Chapter 1

The first question to ask is, “Why?” When this question is answered with a sunshine smile, a light chuckle, and a single shrug of shoulders, the next question to ponder is, “How?” Since the first question wasn’t even given the light of day, however, no one will expect the next question to be answered, either.

No one expected a straight answer to come out of Cha HakYeon, anyway. He was known as an airhead who couldn’t hold a serious conversation to save his life. But, really, why would a Mono choose studio art as his favorite pastime? And how did he manage working with all of those colors?

Mono. Can be used interchangeably as a noun or adjective. One who has yet to be matched with his or her soul mate. Named as such because they still see the world in monochrome. Black, white, and the gray in between, that is. Not to be confused with the kissing disease, mono.

HakYeon was a Mono. He had just turned 24, had his fair share of casual relationships, but he was still a Mono. So when he wasn’t working at his part-time job, he spent his lazy days frequenting the studio on the fifth floor atop the building on the corner down the street. And the middle-age man who managed the loft – to make sure no hoodlums went traversing up there with their cans of acid paint to defile the works previous students had left behind – knew well that HakYeon was a Mono. From the first stroke of the paintbrush, the old man sighed in resignation and moved on to oversee the other quiet students.

The sunshine-smiling airhead didn’t care. It was what he liked to do; it was relaxing and mind-numbing, and it didn’t cost too much money, either.

“Here, HakYeon-ah. Look.”

HakYeon squinted at the phone screen pushed in his direction. “That… Those two don’t even go together, I think.”

“Right?!” SeJung exclaimed. “So you _can_ tell! It’s totally off!”

If HakYeon was anyone else, he probably would have been offended. But he is HakYeon, so he laughed in relief. “I wasn’t sure of myself, really. Trying to tell colors on a phone is hard.”

He may have been a Mono, but he’d dabbled in art for long enough that he could “feel” the differences in colors (even though the idea of “color” was still beyond him). He just knew “this” paint was definitely different from “that” paint, so he’d use the former because it gave off a stronger feeling. While the old man used to pass his canvas by without a second glance, more recently, he would stand back and watch as all of the haphazard stripes muddled together to a vibrant composition. Of course, HakYeon’s sense wasn’t perfect, but maybe it was interesting, at least.

Yoon SeJung, however, had met her match a few years ago, so she had ecstatically bounced out of the status of Mono to Poly, as in polychrome as in she is now able to see the world in much more than 256K. Yet with that being the case, she refused to adhere to the rules of the color wheel and dipped her brush in whatever cup happened to be closest. HakYeon found no fault in her pictures; the streaks of light and dark still made an astounding piece of work.

As for how the two became such good friends… well, two chatterboxes will never run out of things to talk about.

“So he told her to wear that. I’m like, no! People are gonna like, stare you down everywhere you go!”

“Especially downtown? Oh, sorrow.”

“No sympathy. No feelings. No sense. It’s a terrible thing, really…”

SeJung trailed off, pointedly looking away without finishing her sentence. The studio had closed for the day, and the two friends were strolling along the sidewalk at ease. HakYeon took his friend’s silence in stride; he knew she never meant to be insensitive toward Monos, exactly, but after bursting into the world as a Poly, she seemed to have forgotten everything about the empty black and white.

HakYeon wasn’t exactly super-sensitive about it, either. He knew, hopefully in time, he would find his match, some magical thing would happen, and he would see the world how SeJung saw it. He knew it would happen eventually, so he wasn’t impatient.

A phone tittered. “Ah,” SeJung started. “Hold on.”

She scooted to the side as she brought her phone up, leaning into one store’s shadow. HakYeon shifted so he could slouch his weight on to one foot. He could barely hear the voice on the other side.

“Oh, dongsaeng. What’s that? Oh, okay. Did you already call Dad? Well, duh. Duhhhhhhh. No, I’m having dinner with oppa. Eat to your heart’s content. What? Whaaaat?” HakYeon ducked his head from how obnoxiously loud his friend was starting to sound. “I’ll be there tomorrow! Geez, whatever. Okay byeeeeee!” She clicked the call to an end with a sneer.

“Dongsaeng?” HakYeon inquired lightly.

SeJung pushed off the building to continue their stroll. “Yeah, my little brother got reassigned. Have I told you? He’s in S.W.A.T. But yeah, he got reassigned back up here in Seoul, and he just got into town.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. And dangerous?”

“Yeah, sometimes the stuff he gets into is scary, but he’s good at his job, so I don’t worry too much.” They arrived at an intersection. “Well, I’m turning here. Dinner with SangBo. See you tomorrow, HakYeon-ah!”

HakYeon lifted his hand. “Sure, noona. Have fun!”

She trotted carelessly into the intersection, already immersed with texting away on her phone. Fortunately, she avoided the bitter fate of becoming road kill. HakYeon turned the opposite direction to pay a visit to his favorite coffee shop.

As he passed over the threshold, his other senses were assaulted with the somewhat musty atmosphere he was well attuned to. It was there that he spent most of his other free time, mainly because the novelty of such normalcy stirred his artistic juices. He figured he’d probably draw or paint something else when he got home later.

“Ah, sorry,” a stranger’s voice mumbled.

A shoulder bumped his shoulder as he tried to wiggle his way through the mess of idly standing customers. The coffee in HakYeon’s hand spun in the cup; thank patent pending for coffee lids.

“Ah, no, it’s fine.” HakYeon barely glanced over his shoulder at whoever had bumped him, but no one was paying attention, all statues thirstily watching and waiting for the baristas to hurry up with their own liquefied addiction.

He shrugged and tried to muscle his way to the door – a joke, because HakYeon is almost a beanpole – but he spun around again, the coffee in hand sloshing about.

_What…_

There was something, _something_ in that line of people. He scanned all of the backs of their heads, trying to see it again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. They shifted on their feet, sometimes one or another heading up to the counter to claim their order.

It was gone. HakYeon shook his head, trying to dispel whatever had possessed him for that brief moment, and turned again to leave.

* * *

“Oooooohhhhhh!!!”

“Yah, don’t be so loud, noona.”

“Ooooohhh oooohhhoooohoohhooooooo!!!”

“Noona.”

“HakYeon-ah! What if! But like, what if?!”

“ _What?_ ”

HakYeon recoiled backwards as a paint-laden brush was brandished much too close to his face. Of course the wielder was SeJung. “Cha HakYeon. _What if your_ soul mate _was in there?_ ”

“What?” The fine line he was focused on broke uniform. “Wait, what? Is that what happens?”

“Well, kind of! I mean, it’s like, it’s a something where you don’t really get it, but you know it’s there, so like, you know!”

“… No, I don’t.”

“I can’t explain it!” SeJung whined, her brush still wildly flying about. HakYeon was glad he’d decided to not try with his outfit that day because it was riddled with splotches that were certainly not there when he bought it. “Seriously, though! No, but seriously, you should like, totally go there again, and see who it was!”

“Yah, I couldn’t figure out what was going on the first time. How am I supposed to pinpoint the exact person?”

“Oh, you’ll know,” SeJung replied with a knowing smirk. “I know you’ll know.”

HakYeon merely sighed and turned back to his canvas. He’d barely lifted his brush when SeJung piped up again.

“Oh, so, like, I’m meeting with my little brother later. Were you doing anything tonight? Did you wanna have dinner with us?”

“Ah, no. I’m working tonight, but I couldn’t intrude on your – ”

“Oh whatever.” HakYeon narrowly dodged another careless swipe of SeJung’s brush. “My mom misses you and your good manners. Well, just whenever you’re free, let me know. You can have dinner with my family.”

The bake shop where HakYeon worked also sold coffee, but he didn’t particularly like how they made it. And while he did like sweets every so often, he never binged on them. By successfully dodging weight gain, he maintained his role as the most attractive waiter in the shop.

“Here you go. I hope you enjoy,” he said brightly, throwing out his sunshine smile.

The girls at the table he just left tittered excitedly as he made his way behind the counter to search for the next order. His coworker, an impish youth, scowled as HakYeon got closer.

“I’m surprised you’re still Mono, hyung,” SangHyuk muttered. “You seriously have everyone in Korea at your feet.”

HakYeon scoffed. “That’s an exaggeration. You’re not at my feet.”

“I already have a fiancée, so I don’t count.”

“And you’re so young, too.” HakYeon pinched Han SangHyuk’s cheeks forlornly. “You poor baby. You didn’t even get to experience youth.”

SangHyuk batted him away. “Get off, ajusshi. I’m still living my youth. Don’t be jealous just because you’re old and gray.” The kid suddenly bent in pain from a pinch to his kidney.

“Oh, HakYeon, can you help me with this?” another coworker called from the kitchen.

“Yup!” HakYeon released SangHyuk and trotted through the saloon-style doors.

It would be a lie to say HakYeon wasn’t getting anxious. He was only 24 – still young, of course – but when all of his friends and even baby SangHyuk were finding their soul mates and he was still going on, day by day, he was starting to feel the forever alone vibe. He constantly dodged thinking about exactly how many people there were in the world; he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life.

The last crate was moved from the delivery truck to the shelves in the back. “Thanks, Cha-goon.”

“Sure, no problem.” HakYeon skipped back to the front.

It happened again. HakYeon froze in his tracks, bewildered. Something was flickering with his vision, and he couldn’t make sense of any of his thoughts, so heavily caught in the haze that SangHyuk had to walk up and bat him on the head to catch his attention.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” he asked lightly.

“That…” HakYeon finally snapped out of it. “Who was here? Who was just here?”

SangHyuk lifted a brow, briefly looking around the shop. “Um… Roughly twenty customers…? Why?”

“I – ”

He didn’t even realize his feet were taking him out the door until the sun was beating into his eyes. Before him stretched the endless sea of people that Seoul was made of. There was no way he could find the one single person he was looking for. His vision reverted back to how it was before, and he was lost within the crowd once again.

* * *

“… Yah.”

The charcoal in HakYeon’s hand stuttered on the paper in front of him. He glanced at SeJung. “Hm?”

“You totally weren’t listening, were you?”

“… Ah… No. Sorry.”

SeJung tilted her head, puffing her cheeks out. “What’s wrong, HakYeonnie?”

“Mmm nothing?”

“Wrong. You’re super distracted. Don’t tell me…” SeJung’s eyes grew wide, her mouth mimicking the ‘O’ her eyes became. “You saw – ”

HakYeon quickly interrupted. “Not exactly.”

“WHERE?!”

Charcoal may or may not have suddenly streaked on SeJung’s face, but HakYeon had to slap his hand over her mouth for fear of her loud bursts of obnoxiousness getting the two kicked out of the studio. Already the old man was sending them distasteful gazes.

“Noona! Please control yourself.” She wriggled in protest, so HakYeon’s hand remained. “It happened when I was at work, but I still didn’t see who it was. They must have left while I was in the back or something. And nothing’s changed. I’m… still the same.”

SeJung whined, her eyebrows morosely turning upward. HakYeon laughed and sat back to let her breathe again. Her cheeks were marred with his charcoal fingerprints, but she was barely fazed.

“HakYeon-goon. _Please_ try a little harder. This is so exciting! She could seriously be right around the corner! Aren’t you excited?!”

“Well, yeah.”

“… That is not excitement.”

The reason for that is because HakYeon neglected to tell SeJung that it had already been almost two weeks since his second-chance encounter. During his work hours, he refused to step back to the kitchen even if he was aching for a restroom break. When he was off from work, he frequented his coffee shop and loitered for as long as he could hover around an empty mug. When nothing happened at either location, he would retreat back to his apartment and listlessly hope for the next day. Needless to say, his morale was lowering.

“Kind of a slow day…” SangHyuk muttered, fiddling with his phone. There were only two customers at one table in the whole shop at the time.

“Mm.” HakYeon continued absent-mindedly wiping down the glass of the large display case.

The kid heaved a sigh and slid his phone back into his pocket. “You’re boring these days, hyung. Did something happen?”

“Hm? Nothing happened.” It was the truth.

SangHyuk pursed his duck lips. “See? Normally, if I said something like that, you’d suddenly assault me or something. Hmmm…”

“Is that so?” HakYeon laughed. “I guess I’m distracted, then.”

“With what?”

He didn’t get to answer as the customers to the side waved him over. The door chimed as he trotted his way over to the table. Somewhere in the back of his consciousness, he heard SangHyuk greeting the customer who had just walked in.

“Sure thing,” HakYeon said graciously to his table. “I’ll be right back.”

As he made his way behind the counter, SangHyuk suddenly piped up, “Oh, sonnim! You’re back!”

“Ah… You remember me?” The customer’s voice sounded a bit abashed.

_The customer’s voice…_

HakYeon’s head spun so quickly his neck could’ve snapped in two.

“I’m pretty good at remembering faces,” SangHyuk rambled. “To be honest, yours is kinda memorable.”

“Hm… Thanks…?”

The customer finally took note of the other employee standing behind the counter.

Nothing registered for a long time.

The last thing HakYeon remembered was widened eyes and a back leaving through the door, the chime signaling a departure.

“HakYeon-hyung?! HakYeon-hyung, what’s wrong?!”

Somehow he had collapsed to the floor, heart hammering and tears streaming endlessly.


	2. Chapter 2

Anyone who didn’t know the two were friends and not soul mates would think otherwise from the scene they caused. Rather, the scene _SeJung_ was causing. All of the wild screaming and shaking and swinging back and forth may or may not have drawn judgmental eyes to the two friends.

HakYeon didn’t care. He couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t stop _staring_.

SeJung delighted in his happiness. “It’s wonderful, right?”

His hand wandered to pull at her hair again, fascinated at how the sun hit it. “This is impossible. I don’t have anything comprehensible to say.”

SeJung was right. There was no way to explain. There was no way to explain how he could _see_.

Though the definition was still beyond him, HakYeon could see in _color_.

Bursting into uncontrolled laughter yet again, HakYeon pulled SeJung into a tight hug which she gleefully reciprocated. The city in front of him was an explosion of life. Surely his eyes would tire of looking at the world he’d lived in all over again, but he couldn’t stop. Tears swam to the corners of his eyes and threatened to fall.

“Yah, HakYeon. You’re failing to tell me the most important thing, though.”

SeJung dissected herself from HakYeon’s arms and glared at him. He knew exactly what she wanted to know, but he didn’t have the answer she wanted. “I haven’t seen him since.”

Her jaw dropped. “WHAT?! How?! And, oh, ‘him’? So it’s a guy? Ooooooh~ Wait… ‘Since’? Wait, how long ago was this?!”

“Umm… I think it’s been maybe two weeks. Ever since I stopped coming to the studio.”

“I was wondering what happened to you!” SeJung gripped the collar of HakYeon’s shirt and shook him wildly. “You wouldn’t ever text me back! Is that what happened?! What have you been doing all this time?! _Please_ tell me you’ve been hunting him down!”

Honestly, HakYeon was too distracted by the sudden change that finding this mystery person was put on the back burner. He had spent every waking hour re-examining everything in his apartment; when everything was exhausted there, he had finally moved outside to look at his normal routes to and from work and the studio. Food got cold before he could get the first bite. Other people glared when he stared for too long. Even the pictures he had drawn and painted were scoured thoroughly for every detail. SeJung had finally caught him in the park across the street from the studio, laying spread-eagle on his back and carefully examining the subtle gradient of the sky.

“What does he look like, at least?” The two had finally calmed down enough to sit side by side on the grass. SeJung slipped one foot out of her sandal and was running her bare heel along the blades of green – green, she had said, grass is green in the Spring.

HakYeon chuckled. “I don’t really remember.”

“What?!”

“He ran out of the shop before I could get a good look. He’s taller than I am, though.”

“He’s taller– _He ran_?! What the heck?!”

“Yeah,” HakYeon replied, laughing again. “I was too caught up that I didn’t even notice. SangHyukkie was yelling at me. He thought I saw a traumatic ex or something.”

“Oh, no. No, no. This is no good. Get up.” SeJung sprang to her feet. “We are going to find that boy right now.”

“… We’re going to search all of Seoul for him? Or Korea? North Korea, too? Even the whole world? Who knows where he could be now?”

“If he’s a proper soul mate, then he’d be right here suffering just as much as you did. Now get up.”

HakYeon didn’t think he was suffering too badly, but he stood up all the same, brushing off his clothes and falling in step behind a swiftly-moving SeJung already making her way to the sidewalk. She looked as if she was about to announce her brilliant plan, but her phone jingled loudly from inside her purse.

She sighed as she fished it out, swiping the screen violently with barely the tip of her finger. “What’s up? Eh? Why? No, I skipped today. I met my friend in the park, and we’re engaging in criminal activities. Yup. Eh?” SeJung whipped around so quickly her long hair flew out and slapped HakYeon in the face. “Ah!”

SeJung suddenly darted away, the only trace of her disappearing presence a happy squeal. HakYeon followed after her just as she lunged to hug a seemingly unsuspecting citizen. However, the citizen seemed maybe only half surprised from the attack as he merely grunted in response.

“Taekkie!” SeJung exclaimed. “What are you doing here?!”

“I’m off. No one was home, and I was bored.”

HakYeon had just reached the two when his vision swam again, the new sensations and vibrant bursts of whatever popping all at once. The earth seemed to shift under his shoes.

He looked up to see who SeJung’s victim was.

And that person was staring straight back at HakYeon.

His cell phone dropped out of his hand.

* * *

“Oh. _MY_ God.”

“We’re Buddhist.”

“Oh. _THEIR_ God. Like, wow. Like, whoa. Like, wow. Can you pass me a napkin or something?”

SeJung ended up reaching for it herself since the other two at the table were unwaveringly staring at each other. HakYeon hadn’t quite determined what kind of expression the other person was sending him, so he couldn’t determine what expression to give back.

A beat of silence passed, and SeJung’s eyes flitted between the two. “Oh, seriously. Are you two gonna just sit there the whole time?” She cleared her throat, sat up straight, and gestured to the guy sitting next to her. “HakYeon-goon, this is my little brother, TaekWoon. TaekWoon-ah, this is my friend, Cha HakYeon.”

“Nice to meet you,” HakYeon finally said, deciding on just pushing out his sunshine smile.

TaekWoon responded with nothing, his fingers mechanically passing over the scraped corner of his phone.

“… I’m sorry about your phone. You really ought to buy a case. I could buy you a case – ”

“I’m straight.”

HakYeon could see SeJung’s foot collide with TaekWoon’s shin, but the giant didn’t flinch the slightest bit. “TaekWoon-ah!” SeJung exclaimed. “What was that?!”

“I don’t know how this happened, but sorry.”

TaekWoon stood up, the legs of his chair scraping angrily on the tile, and walked out of the café they had parked at. SeJung could only stare with her mouth hanging open at the door her brother had just walked through. It finally clicked that HakYeon was still sitting there, and she whirled back around.

“HakYeon!” But she couldn’t continue.

He just chuckled, a thin smile pressed between his lips. “I guess… he doesn’t like me?”

“No…” Her forehead scrunched together the slightest bit as her eyebrows turned up. “No, HakYeon-ah, that’s not it. He’s just a difficult person… in general. I’ll talk to him. He’s just being dumb. Don’t worry about it.”

Laughing, HakYeon lightly pushed at the crease between SeJung’s brows. “I’m not worried, noona. I don’t really get how this whole thing works, so… we’ll just have to see what happens.”

The colors couldn’t have been more vibrant.

* * *

HakYeon didn’t see TaekWoon again until about a month later.

“He’s been working,” SeJung informed him, sourly.

HakYeon hadn’t even asked a question. Because he was too afraid to ask? Well, maybe.

“Have you texted him at all?”

“No, I don’t have his number.”

SeJung gasped, her face stretching to a mirror image of The Scream. “What do you mean you don’t have his number?!”

“Don’t you remember? Both times I met him, he ran away.”

“Oh, deity. That kid. Here, I’ll give you his number.”

“Ah, no.” HakYeon held up his hands just as SeJung eagerly brandished her cell phone. “That’s okay. I’ll get it on my own terms.”

“… So do you want me to give him your number?”

“No! Noona, I really appreciate it, but we can work it out.”

He said. But he had no idea how to go about it. TaekWoon never came back to the shop where HakYeon worked, and the other coffee shop where HakYeon deduced he had “met” TaekWoon the very first time was a no-go as well. They may be in the same city, but Seoul is big.

“What are you doing?”

HakYeon jumped and looked up from his drawing pad. A figure clad in dark was staring down at him, but HakYeon couldn’t see very well since he stood between where HakYeon sat and the sun. HakYeon squinted at the silhouette before his eyes went round.

“Oh, TaekWoon!”

He was donned in his uniform, so that’s why HakYeon didn’t recognize him at first. He didn’t have all of the typical brass and gear that HakYeon would’ve expected of an officer of his branch, so he assumed TaekWoon was off work and headed home. When he realized HakYeon was squinting from the blast of sunshine, he stepped sideways, his expression blank. HakYeon continued to look at him, a bit confused that TaekWoon was still standing there and not running away, until he saw TaekWoon’s eyes glance back down at the drawing pad in his lap and realized the dark figure had asked him a question first.

“This! Oh! I’m drawing. I’m off from work today, and I didn’t feel like going to the studio.” He felt like he was babbling.

TaekWoon took a carefully measured step toward HakYeon to see what his drawing looked like, close enough to analyze but far enough to maintain his personal-space bubble. “Charcoal?”

“Ah… Yeah… I’m still not very used to working with colors, so…”

The lug didn’t reply. He just straightened up, face still impassive. HakYeon didn’t know what to say, awkwardly looking up at TaekWoon.

“… Well, bye.”

TaekWoon turned and strode off, HakYeon following after him with his eyes. Men in uniform definitely look better. Especially with shoulders like his. HakYeon shook his head wildly.

A couple of hours later, HakYeon pushed open the door to the bake shop where he worked.

“What a loser!” SangHyuk exclaimed. “Coming in on your day off!”

“Shut up, brat,” HakYeon replied, grinning. “I’m here for my paycheck.”

The child gestured with the top of his head. “SunHo-nim left them on the desk, like always.”

It took only a second of greetings and teasing jeers from various other coworkers for HakYeon to pop in and out of the back office, grabbing the envelope with his name on it. He was in the process of stuffing the envelope in his back pocket when SangHyuk called out to him again.

“Oh, hyung. You know that guy who came in before, and you had a meltdown? He came in again, and he left this.”

In SangHyuk’s hand was a business card. Nothing else was written on it. Just the office where – HakYeon assumed – TaekWoon worked, “정 택 운” imprinted in bold in the top corner, and three phone numbers in the bottom corner. Office, fax, and cell.

“When was he here?” HakYeon asked, flipping the card around and around to be sure there wasn’t any other secret message on it.

“Just earlier. Came to get coffee. I didn’t even see him leave this behind.”

A smile crept onto HakYeon’s face. “I see…”

* * *

HakYeon almost choked, barely holding himself from spewing coffee from his mouth. “W-wha…?!”

TaekWoon looked offended. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

“… I’m sitting here.”

“I realize that. But weren’t you sitting _in there_?”

“You don’t want me to?”

“It’s not that! But…” How was HakYeon supposed to say, “ _I was expecting you to run away or something_ ”?

On a seemingly normal day, yet almost another month between their last encounter, during a steady rush of business, HakYeon was shocked to see the icy glare of Jung TaekWoon back at his favorite coffee shop. He was seated by himself at a table right next to the main aisle where the line ran, so HakYeon had spent an awkward five to seven minutes wondering if he should risk eye contact again. When the eternal centuries had passed and HakYeon finally had a drink in hand, he lumbered gracefully (read: ungracefully) out of the shop and collapsed at a small, two-seater table just outside. He had just barely caught his breath when the metal chair opposite of him screeched against the sidewalk courtesy of Ice Prince TaekWoon.

TaekWoon straightened the stack of papers he had brought with him, left hand still lazily holding out his own cup of coffee like some hipster in Beverly Hills. “It’s a busy hour. You obviously opted to sit outside because there were no more empty tables inside even though there were plenty of empty seats, the seat at my table included. I’m being the nice guy by giving up a whole table to myself to share a table with you with whom I’m an acquaintance. You don’t want me to?”

 _Acquaintance._ HakYeon flexed his jaw just before letting out his sunshine smile. “Nope. I was… I was curious. I mean…”

First of all, he was rendered a bit speechless by the amount TaekWoon had just said; the most he’d ever heard TaekWoon speak was an average of nine words. Second of all, there was that whole “acquaintance” thing – as if being a 100%-match soul mate made you an “acquaintance.” Third of all, TaekWoon’s presence is a deity-like wonder to be beheld.

Contrary to TaekWoon’s claim for himself, HakYeon definitely likes men. During his days of dabbling in the dating scene, he had flip-flopped back and forth to see what tickled his fancy, and it was men. Women had their charms, but no, HakYeon was definitely, physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever else-ally attracted to men. In some other, alternate world in an alternate society, that could probably be problematic somehow (man plus man doesn’t equal babies or something?), but in this world, where your soul mate could literally pop out of nowhere, it was no surprise to anyone if his or her soul mate turned out to be the same gender.

But what of those whose preferences apparently clashed?

HakYeon pondered this, still ogling his destined other half, as he subconsciously sipped from his cup. TaekWoon had shut himself off from speaking again, completely focused on the papers laid out on the table before him. Both his arms and legs were crossed loosely. HakYeon’s gaze traveled from observing TaekWoon’s fashion – it must have been an off day because TaekWoon was dressed rather casually but still with a chic flair – to his face. TaekWoon wasn’t the type to move his lips while reading, and his expression didn’t change in the slightest. His eyes just flitted back and forth as he read each line after line, barely blinking. Suddenly, his sharp gaze snapped up and caught HakYeon’s. An unreasonable chill went down HakYeon’s spine.

“What?” TaekWoon’s tone wasn’t cold, though.

“I’m observing you,” HakYeon replied easily. When TaekWoon responded with a blank stare, HakYeon changed gears. “What have you been reading? Is that for work?”

TaekWoon sighed and sat back in his chair. “Yeah. These reports aren’t coming together.”

“Hmmm… Sounds tough.”

“I’m tired of it.”

Silence settled between them, each man trading off small sips of their respective coffees. HakYeon did a quick glance at the papers on the table between the two but gave up when the few lines he crept on made no sense to him.

“Do you like your job?” he asked TaekWoon.

“I do.”

“Ah, but of course each job has its ups and downs.”

“Of course.”

 _Why the sudden change?_ This thought echoed in the back of HakYeon’s mind as he continued the mindless conversation – rather, his one-sided chatter as TaekWoon only found fit to respond with either grunts or various combinations of two to three words. He was still waiting for TaekWoon to abruptly stand and walk away, be a stranger for another month or so and only return for a coincidental reunion as an acquaintance.

Was this how his life was going to play out? Was this how it was going to be for HakYeon as a Poly?

“What are you thinking about?”

The question caught HakYeon off guard. As far as he could remember (he thinks; he was only half-paying attention to what they were saying), this wasn’t where their conversation was going. “Eh?”

TaekWoon kept his level glare. “Your face. What are you thinking about?”

HakYeon quickly shooed a dark thought from his mind. “Hm? Nothing. We were talking, weren’t we?”

TaekWoon didn’t reply, continuing to stare in that blank but quizzical manner. HakYeon pushed his chair back as he stood up.

“Well, I’m off to go to work. I guess I’ll see you around someday.”

“Mm.”

TaekWoon didn’t even look up as HakYeon weaved his way out of the sitting area. There was still one other thing HakYeon wanted to ask TaekWoon, but when he turned around, the big lug was at the reports again. HakYeon sighed to himself and continued on to his workplace. It was there, between orders and while quickly ducking in to the kitchen, that HakYeon swiftly tapped out a text.

< Is it wrong of me to steal this number from a business card coincidentally left behind at my workplace? >

He jabbed ‘send’ before he could change his mind.

Approximately five minutes later, as he was cleaning the storefront windows, his phone buzzed in the front pocket of his apron. It was swooped out of hiding like lightning, cleaning cloth and spray bottle tossed to the sidewalk in a forgotten heap. HakYeon could see his boss on the other side of the window, carefully watching the operations of his shop. He frowned at the clatter HakYeon made, but the idiot didn’t care as he eagerly swiped at the screen of his phone.

< Morally, yes, but no. >

He couldn’t stop an idiot grin from forming on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

“I dunno what to tell you, man.”

“I figured.”

“Yeah, sorry, man. But, I mean, at least you got it off your chest or something, right?”

HakYeon was relaxing in the living room of his high-school friend’s apartment. The two had their feet propped up on the small coffee table, socked feet pushing around various items of clutter. Sometimes something fell to the ground, but WonShik would wave away HakYeon’s effort to pick it up. “I’ll get it later,” he would mutter without conviction.

The two weren’t exactly best friends; they had been close when they attended high school but grew apart after graduation, keeping casual contact with each other every now and then. Another reason was because WonShik had suddenly found his match not long after graduation, and he dedicated his full attention to him. At the time, said soul mate was at work, so it was just HakYeon and WonShik at the apartment; a good thing, because WonShik is an incredibly over-affectionate lover and embarrassing with his PDA.

HakYeon had called out to WonShik because he was the only one in HakYeon’s circle of friends whose soul mate is the same gender, so he had hoped maybe his old friend could give some insight on this Poly world HakYeon didn’t understand. Unfortunately, WonShik was just as flabbergasted with HakYeon’s situation.

WonShik leaned back in his chair, his face scrunched up in thought. “I’m trying to think of all the people I know… but I never heard of anything like this before…”

“Do you think something like this is possible, though?” HakYeon asked.

“Mmm… Maybe? I mean, there are a lot of people in the world, so who knows. Anything could happen, you know?” When HakYeon threw back his head and sighed loudly, WonShik quickly added, “Or maybe he’s just frontin’. You never know.”

HakYeon frowned. “Well, maybe. I can’t say that the first time we met would be him playing around, but at least he’s starting to seem… normal? Ugh…” HakYeon threw his head back again. “He’s so difficult.”

“At least you said he looks good, though, right? You’re a good-lookin’ dude, too, so maybe you can swing him.”

“WonShik-goon, please.”

“Sorry. I dunno what I could say that would be helpful. Um. Good luck.”

There went that venture. At least HakYeon could communicate with TaekWoon via phone, but their conversations were much like their spoken ones.

< TaekWoon-goon! You’re working today, right?! >

< Yes >

< Ah are you at work right now???? >

< Yes >

< （・□・；）Sorry for bothering you!! Have a good day~ >

No reply.

A time or two, HakYeon had called him. He never failed to pick up the phone, but he never hid when he was done.

“HAKYEON.”

“Eh?! What?!”

“I’m standing in front of the time clock. I’m hanging up now.”

“Oh! Okay! Have a good day!”

It was still maybe once a month or so that the two actually got to meet face to face, due in part to TaekWoon constantly working. But they had yet to meet anywhere else besides their favorite coffee shop. At least they took the same table without question.

“What’s wrong?” HakYeon asked.

TaekWoon had been staring at the table for a long time. His rock-tumbler face was somehow a bit darker than usual. He hadn’t even touched his coffee yet. His eyes snapped up to meet HakYeon’s but quickly redirected to look elsewhere. HakYeon waited patiently.

“I shot someone the other day.” He took note of HakYeon’s rounded eyes and continued, “It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve ever shot someone. I’ve killed people before. I’m not boasting about it. But…” TaekWoon’s gaze fell again, looking somewhere much more distant than the table between them. “I guess… the color of blood… was unsettling.”

 _Enough for stone-monument TaekWoon to act like this?_ “What was it? I’ve never seen it before.”

He searched around carefully, sometimes pausing on an item to gauge its likeness, but eventually TaekWoon just shook his head and continued to look. HakYeon could tell he was getting visibly frustrated, so he tried to console him, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to – ”

“Here.”

One of TaekWoon’s hands disappeared as he seemed to reach into his pocket for something. HakYeon had a brief moment of confusion – _He keeps blood in his pocket?_ – which continued when the hand returned, not bearing anything but fingers slightly curled. TaekWoon held out his empty hand to HakYeon. He wasn’t exactly sure of what he was supposed to be looking at until he noticed a bead of something growing on the pad of his index finger, and the realization flooded his veins with a nauseating wave of dread.

“Yah, TaekWoon!!!”

It was a dark, ugly color, nothing like he imagined it would be. It continued to swell on TaekWoon’s finger until it looked heavy enough that it was about to roll over the side. HakYeon snatched up a napkin and crumpled it around TaekWoon’s finger, the paper quickly seeping up the blood.

TaekWoon looked up at HakYeon. “What…?”

He didn’t even know he was shaking. “Don’t… do that. Please…”

For a while, TaekWoon just stared at HakYeon who was still holding the napkin around his wounded finger. Then he seemed to snap back to his senses, jerking his hand back as he stood up, the legs of his chair stuttering along the floor.

“I won’t…” he muttered.

And he spun around and walked off toward the back of the café. The napkin was still in HakYeon’s hand. It took him a while to relax his hands, opening his frozen fingers one by one, until the napkin fell from his clutch. The stain left behind was much brighter than the blood that had been seeping through the cut in TaekWoon’s finger. HakYeon snatched up the napkin and crumpled it into a tiny ball, wrapping it in another layer so he wouldn’t have to see it. TaekWoon finally reappeared, carefully watching HakYeon as he reclaimed his seat.

HakYeon let out a huge breath. “Yah! What was that for?! What did you even do?”

“I washed my hands.” TaekWoon held up his hand to (proudly?) show his finger which was wrapped in a Band-Aid (where did that even come from?).

“I meant… earlier!”

“I have a knife in my pocket, so I used it.”

He said it so casually, HakYeon had to stare. “Why do you have a knife in your pocket?!”

“Because I always have a knife in my pocket.”

“Well…! You didn’t have to do that to show me what blood looks like! I would’ve seen it eventually!”

“Are you okay?”

It was out of character, and it cut off HakYeon’s whining. He was so caught off guard that he didn’t reply. TaekWoon stared like usual, his expression still blank and unreadable.

“Yeah… I’m fine,” HakYeon finally replied.

“Okay.”

* * *

What’s weird is, HakYeon remembered slowly waking up that morning, getting ready, and setting out to go to the studio.

But he didn’t remember what happened between then and when he slowly woke up in an ambulance.

“HakYeon-goon, can you hear me?”

He didn’t remember much of the ambulance ride, just the voice of the old man from the studio and the sunlight piercing through the windows. There may have been rumbling and rattling, maybe; HakYeon didn’t really remember that part. But at some point, he woke up again surrounded by silence and laying in one of those stiff, hospital beds.

His entire body felt heavy. There was a familiar voice somewhere above him, but he couldn’t move his head to see who it was.

“… think he’s waking up now. I’ll talk to you later.” It was taking a while for it to register whose voice that was. “HakYeon? HakYeon-ah, you need to wake up.”

He rolled his eyes around since his neck wouldn’t move and spotted the person standing on his right. Where did his voice go?

“HakYeon? You can hear me, right?”

His first attempt at talking was just an empty wheeze. Merely breathing was tiring. He tried again. “H… Hyung.”

The eldest brother let out a soft sigh. “Okay, good.”

HakYeon looked around with his eyes again; it finally registered that he was wearing a neck brace. He could see an empty bed across the room. “What are you doing here? … What am I doing here?”

“Apparently, you hit your head really hard. That’s what the teacher said. You have five stitches on the top of your head.”

“Hehh…”

He felt sleepy. Really sleepy. His eyes threatened to close, but his bed jostled as his brother reached out to lightly shake his arm. “Yah, the nurse said you need to stay awake for now. You were drugged up for a while.”

HakYeon grumbled as he fought to keep his eyes open. With great effort, he tried to take in everything in the room. The world outside the window was dark, street lamps and neon signs cutting through the darkness. It didn’t seem like anyone besides the two were in the room. He watched as his brother settled into a chair next to his bed, texting someone on his phone.

“Why are you here?” HakYeon asked again.

His brother raised a brow, finishing the text message before looking up at HakYeon. “Our parents called me saying the old teacher called them saying you were in an accident. I’m the only one here in Seoul. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“… They told you to come here?”

“They did. I just got off the phone with them when you were waking up. They were asking if you were okay.”

“Hm… Did they.” HakYeon’s inflection didn’t make it a question.

Frowning, the brother flexed his jaw. “They did, HakYeon. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise.”

HakYeon didn’t reply, choosing instead to trail his eyes to the ceiling.

He only spent one night at the hospital, the next day spent busily going through various tests and questions and trying to remember how to move his head after they took off the neck brace; it’s not like he’d had it on for that long, so why was he being such a dunce? After a long list of dos and don’ts – half of which HakYeon spaced out on – he was finally allowed to slump into the passenger seat of his brother’s car, the two departing for HakYeon’s apartment.

“Hm. I figured you’d be a slob, but I guessed wrong.”

“Hah. I’m a respectable human being who knows how to take care of myself. What makes you think my apartment would be a dumpster?”

HakYeon had kicked off his shoes at the door and was dragging his feet to the living room sofa, his brother trailing in behind him. The last time his brother visited had been years ago, back when the youngest had moved up to Seoul from their hometown in Changwon. Said youngest had just collapsed on to the cushions when the eldest piped up again, “HakYeon…”

“Ow.” HakYeon scratched at his wrist. “Stupid hospital shackle. Hyung!” He held out his hand. “I can’t get this stupid bracelet off! How am I supposed to take it off?!”

He didn’t even turn, taking in the various pictures HakYeon had scattered about the space. “Scissors, obviously.”

HakYeon paused for a beat, following with a steady reply, “I don’t have scissors.”

A heavy silence. The look his brother gave HakYeon as he slowly turned around was too dark, too wary, so naturally, HakYeon just gave him his sunshine smile, holding out his hand.

“I’m dumb, so could you take this off for me?”

Relaxing, his brother sighed, crossing the room as he fished out his keys from his pocket. “It’s a wonder how you’ve lived for so long being as dumb as you are.”

“I’m a miracle baby.”

“You’re an idiot.” The bracelet snapped off.

“Ooh, thanks~”

As HakYeon stood to dispose of the plastic bracelet, his brother spoke up again. “Hey… You’re not Mono anymore, are you?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Hm? What makes you think that?”

“Well, it looks like you’ve upgraded from stuff like this – ” He pointed at one of HakYeon’s older paintings. “ – to stuff like this.” He pointed at one of HakYeon’s newest paintings.

Now that he looked at it, there was a stark difference between the two. HakYeon laughed nervously. “Ah… Well… I guess you could say that.”

“I’m pretty sure no one’s been told about this.” His brother crossed his arms.

“Ah, well.”

“HakYeon.”

“Hey, where’s my stuff? Didn’t I bring my stuff to the studio?”

“ _HakYeon_.”

He had no reason to hide the existence of TaekWoon, but HakYeon still dodged his brother’s persistent questions. When his brother finally couldn’t take the youngest’s idiocy anymore, he sternly reminded HakYeon of the doctor’s orders and left.

HakYeon flopped onto his bed, plugging in his phone. It had been left unattended for well over a day, so of course the battery ran out. Just a few seconds after starting up, the notifications jammed his screen.

Eight missed calls. Two missed calls from SeJung, one from his brother, one from his parents, and the other four from TaekWoon. _Eh?_ His four calls started much earlier than the others, seemed to be roughly around the time when HakYeon was at the studio that day.

Five texts. Three from SeJung: < Hey! What’s going on? TaekWoon just called me for some reason. Are you ok? > Ah. HakYeon forgot SeJung was out of town on vacation with her other. < OMG HakYeon I just called the old man!!! What’s going on?!?! > < HakYeon plz answer the phone ㅠㅠ > One from his sister: < HakYeon-ah! Answer the phone! >

One from TaekWoon. < Call me. >

Hopefully his phone wouldn’t die from a phone call. He tapped the icon on his phone, and the call commenced. It was barely a second – hardly enough time for him to flip over on his bed and relax – that the ringing stopped.

“HakYeon?”

He jumped. First of all, who answers their phone that quickly? Second of all, TaekWoon’s voice through the phone. Third of all… HakYeon could’ve been mistaken, but he sounded a bit… apprehensive?

He pushed his thoughts aside. “Oh, TaekWoon-ah! What’s up?” There was a brief silence at first. HakYeon glanced at his phone screen to make sure the phone call was still going. “Hello? TaekWoon?”

“Are you okay?”

Arrhythmia. “W… Why are you asking that?” For some reason, it didn’t seem reasonable to tell TaekWoon about what had happened to him. It made sense to HakYeon, anyway.

Another lapse of silence. “Your phone…”

“A-ah, right! I was just away from my phone. Sorry.”

“You were away from your phone…”

This statement coming from the village idiot who lived for communication via cell phone. TaekWoon couldn’t have been buying into HakYeon’s failure of a lie, but he went along with it. “Yeah. Sorry. Did you need something?”

“… No.”

The call ended just like that.

* * *

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, TaekWoon! Do it with me!”

“No.”

“SeJung-noona did it with SangBo!”

“I don’t care.”

HakYeon pouted, crossing his arms in a huff. Across the table, TaekWoon took a lazy sip of his coffee.

“That gross face won’t change my mind, either.”

That afternoon found the two at a different coffee shop suggested by TaekWoon. The brew’s taste was a bit stronger, and the shop’s interior was a bit louder in design. HakYeon kept flitting his eyes back and forth from one detail to another. He did this in part to avoid TaekWoon’s unwavering glare.

“Um… Why are you staring at me like that?” he asked nervously.

TaekWoon didn’t answer but stared pointedly, expectantly, at HakYeon.

It worked. HakYeon finally broke. “Um… I’m going to assume SeJung-noona already told you what happened.”

“She did,” he replied. TaekWoon’s face and voice portrayed no emotion.

HakYeon toyed with his cup, his fingers fumbling with the sleeve. “I’m sorry… Um… You’re not gonna… ask why I never said anything?”

“I figured you had some reason for not telling me, so I didn’t pry. If that’s what you wanted, then it doesn’t matter to me.”

“A-ah, I see…” He didn’t, actually.

“But she said you got stitches?” Curious eyes flitted to the top of HakYeon’s head.

“Ah! Yeah. I get them out next weekend, though.”

“Mm.”

They lapsed to silence. HakYeon still felt a bit on edge, wondering if TaekWoon was feeling one way or another about HakYeon not telling him about his episode. Really, SeJung would’ve had more of the story to share, anyway, since HakYeon was knocked out for the beginning of it.

“A _what_?!” HakYeon had almost screeched.

SeJung had nodded vigorously. “I went to the studio yesterday. It was almost like a murder scene. They hadn’t properly cleaned up your blood from the floor.”

“Are you sure _the whole bookcase_ fell on me? Are you sure you’re not exaggerating?”

“It’s gone, HakYeon, I swear! That’s what JiYoungie told me, too, and she was there when it happened! She said first you backed into the shelf, that big bust of Kang HoDong toppled over and crashed on your head, and then the whole thing came down!”

“Wouldn’t I be _dead_?!”

“Apparently, HoBong and SeYun stopped the actual bookcase from falling on you, but you know how that thing had all the stuff on every shelf. Yeah, you were dogpiled. And you bled out on everything, too.”

Really, if their roles were switched, HakYeon would definitely be much more probing about the whole matter. But across the table, TaekWoon just nonchalantly lifted his cup to his lips to take a lazy drag of his coffee. HakYeon vaguely wondered just how much money TaekWoon spent on coffee each week.

His eyes wandered back to the various canvases and quotes splayed about the wall. There were quite a few pictures that caught his eye, very much in his style. But his eyes latched on to one in particular, a dialogue from a story, maybe.

_“What’s the difference?” I asked him. “Between the love of your life, and your soul mate?”_

_“One is a choice, and one is not.”_

He read the words again. And again. His coffee was bitter.

“Hey, um!”

A young voice broke the spell, and HakYeon’s attention was brought back to the table. Rather, the edge of the table. The voice belonged to a very young girl – maybe four years old. She was gripping the edge with her small hands and staring brightly at the two men who sat there.

“So! My momma told me, um…” Much like a child, she enunciated each syllable very slowly and carefully. “One day I’m gonna meet my soul mate, and something magical is gonna happen, so um, will you be my soul mate?”

HakYeon was quite tickled, and he chanced a glance at TaekWoon to see if the rock tumbler could possibly be curved by the innocent antics of the girl, but what he saw made him freeze.

TaekWoon’s face had spread to a wide, bright smile – a legitimate smile, one that pushed up the corners of his eyes – as he leaned forward to look at the young girl at eye level. He reached out to ruffle her hair. “You already want to find your soul mate?” Even his voice sounded much brighter. “But you’re still very young, aren’t you?”

“No!” the girl persisted. “I wanna see the magic! I wanna see it now!”

TaekWoon laughed. _He laughed_. “The magic will find you, though. It’s better to just grow up normally.”

“Noooooooooooooo…”

The door to the café chimed. “HyunJoo? HyunJoo!”

A lady whisked her way over to HakYeon and TaekWoon’s table, reaching out to the girl. “I’m sorry. I lost her for just a bit. She wasn’t bothering you two, was she?”

“No, it’s fine,” HakYeon quickly asserted. “She’s very cute.” He saw TaekWoon nodding in the corner of his eye.

“Come on, HyunJoo. We shouldn’t bother these two. Say bye-bye!”

The girl was pouting, but she still lifted a small hand and waved as the two turned to leave and continue about their day. HakYeon returned to face TaekWoon, but across the table, TaekWoon was still smiling wistfully after the young girl.

“Do you like kids?” HakYeon asked brightly.

At the sound of HakYeon’s voice, the rock tumbler face swiftly returned, mask secure once again. “I do.”

“Wah, I was surprised. I’ve never seen that kind of face on you before!”

TaekWoon sat back in his chair. “To be honest, I wanted kids before.”

“Oh, really?” HakYeon nodded. That made sense. “… ‘Wanted’? What happened?”

TaekWoon’s glare snapped up to meet HakYeon’s eyes, but he said nothing further, choosing instead to drag from his cup again. “In any case, I’m not doing that useless class with you.”

The reminder of their previous conversation made HakYeon pout again. “Come on, TaekWoon-ah! Do it with me!”

“No.”

“Meanie.”

“Remind yourself how long this class is.”

“It’s only one week long!”

“Remind yourself what my occupation is.”

“You’re… Ah.”

“I work more than full time. I don’t have the time to lolly-gag in some art class exclusively for Polys that teaches the colors which I have no interest in.”

“… Meanie.”

They fell to silence again. HakYeon’s cup was empty; he didn’t have anything to distract his hands anymore. His eyes started to wander again, deliberately skipping over the quote he saw before.

“Before you moved back up here,” HakYeon started, “where were you assigned?”

“Gyeongsangdo.”

“Oh, really?! North or south?”

“South.”

“Really?! I’m from Changwon!”

“Mm.”

It seemed like TaekWoon’s cup was empty, too. He had stopped taking sips, too.

“Did you have a girlfriend there?”

HakYeon didn’t even know where that question had surfaced from before it was echoing in his ears. The reverb ebbed coldly through his veins. He kept his gaze away from TaekWoon’s, slowly passing over the pictures on the wall behind him. TaekWoon, however, was carefully watching HakYeon.

“I did.”

 _Did_. “… What happened?”

“I moved.”

Maybe the caffeine was getting to him. HakYeon’s stomach didn’t seem to be taking in the coffee very well. His thoughts were interrupted as TaekWoon pushed back his chair and stood.

“I’m hungry,” he said simply.

HakYeon stared up at him. “Eh?! After drinking this?”

“It’s coffee. It’s not food.”

He said it like HakYeon was probably the dumbest person he’d ever met. HakYeon didn’t even know how to reply. Maybe he was the dumbest person as it took a few seconds for HakYeon to realize TaekWoon was still standing in the same spot, staring down at him.

“Eh? What?”

“I’m hungry,” TaekWoon repeated. “Let’s go eat.”

Arrhythmia. “A-ah. Okay.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sometimes, HakYeon relapses.

There are random days when everything just builds up all at once and relentlessly crushes him: thoughts, emotions, pressure, stress, and whatever other negative thing his subconscious mind can conjure up. The dark thoughts make his head spin and twists his lungs. He usually ends up stuffing himself into a corner of his apartment, balled up in hopes of holding himself together. He’s long learned to throw his keys far across the room during these episodes because they’re the closest thing to a sharp object he was allowed to own.

He had been like that since the late morning that day, pressing against the wall and gasping because he couldn’t remember how to breathe. Night had long since fallen, and his apartment was drenched in darkness. The empty sound of night was stifling.

The sound of his phone cut through the silence, startling HakYeon. He considered just letting it ring away; if it was important enough, the caller would leave a voice mail. But he reached out to where he had dropped it earlier that day and dragged it up, the bright display burning his retinas.

_TaekWoon…_

He pressed harder against the wall, forcing down a gulp of air. Maybe doing that would steady his voice. “… Hello?”

As usual, he was greeted in silence. But TaekWoon never calls first.

“TaekWoon?”

“… You’re still awake?” It was silent, wherever he was.

“I…” HakYeon took a glance at his phone screen. It was almost four in the morning. “Yeah. I just… I’m still awake. Why did you call?”

HakYeon could hear TaekWoon’s steady breathing on the other side as he hesitated for a second. “I have a long report to write, and it’s tiresome. I figured your annoying voice could keep me awake.”

“Yah, what would you have done if I was asleep?”

“Your annoying voice mail greeting would’ve sufficed.”

He wanted to just laugh it off, say, “Is that so?” and maybe their conversation would’ve continued like normal, or maybe he could wrap it up, and HakYeon could go to sleep or continue writhing in the darkness. But his vexed emotions got the better of him, a choked sob escaping amidst his attempt to laugh. He slapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes welling; hopefully, TaekWoon didn’t catch it.

But TaekWoon is perceptive. “… HakYeon?”

“Yah, you brat, what are you doing calling people in the middle of the night?!” HakYeon’s voice sounded gross. He wanted to end the call. No. He wanted to hear TaekWoon’s voice some more, but TaekWoon had fallen silent yet again. “Just leave me alone…”

“Is that really what you want me to do?” TaekWoon asked.

HakYeon buried his face in his arms. “… No. I don’t…” He gripped a sleeve with his free hand, hoping he wouldn’t crush his phone with his other hand. “I don’t… want to go a day without hearing from you or talking with you. But then I feel like I’m all by myself, and I couldn’t stand it if I’m left alone again. I might…”

Fuzzy images of disproving expressions, aloof responses, echoes of emotionless reactions and an oppressing house. A memory of jamming himself in a corner, the only source of light coming from the other side of the locked door betrayed the sight of black blood running down his knuckles. No, he couldn’t return to that again.

“HakYeon.”

He jumped, the quiet, grainy voice through the phone bringing him back to reality. His own voice was invalid, his throat too constricted to produce a comprehensible sound, so he sniffled in reply.

“Right now… What are you doing?”

“I…” He swallowed hard, but he couldn’t speak.

“Look in front of you, and tell me what you see.”

Confused, he lifted his head. His eyes felt raw from the tears, but before him, he only saw muddled shapes and shadows in the darkness. “I-I can’t see… It’s dark.”

He heard TaekWoon heave a sigh. “Turn on the light,” he said patiently.

It took a while for him to muster enough strength to push himself up. He only made it to his knees, so he had to stretch out an arm to reach the light switch. Just as he hit it, the bright lights of his apartment shocked his senses. He squinted, blinking away the spots in his vision.

“So what do you see?”

“I…” What was TaekWoon expecting? “I’m in my room… It’s just… My stuff is here. I don’t understand what you…”

“Everything is in color, isn’t it?”

HakYeon froze. Of course everything was. Across the room, stacked neatly against the wall, was a small collection of his older paintings. The colors didn’t work together to form a proper picture, but the colors were definitely there.

“HakYeon?”

“O-of course. But – ”

“That means I’m still here.”

HakYeon stopped breathing.

“Regardless of whatever you’re thinking, I’ll still be here. You’re not alone. Understand?”

His head was swimming from his emotions going every direction, but he still nodded in reply, completely forgetting that he was on a phone call and not talking to TaekWoon in person. But TaekWoon is perceptive.

“Now, stop it, and go to sleep.”

“Yeah… Okay…”

TaekWoon waited for HakYeon to hang up first. HakYeon buried himself under his covers and let his wretched emotions loose. By the time he woke up the next day, well after noon, his heart was much lighter and unburdened. His face, though, needed to be thoroughly freshened up.

Even though this sort of conversation happened, the next time HakYeon spoke with TaekWoon, their chatter (HakYeon’s chatter, TaekWoon’s grunts) was back to usual.

And HakYeon was fine with that.

* * *

“You’re going on vacation?!”

“Yes.”

“What?! When?!”

“Noona, I already told you.”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Where are you going?! To Changwon?! To meet up with your old girlfriend?!”

“Sure.”

“WHAT?!”

The weather was pleasant enough that HakYeon and SeJung decided to skip the studio and doodle in the park. No, actually, the truth was when the two reached the landing of the studio, HakYeon saw traces of the bloodstain where his accident happened, and he spouted excuses until SeJung agreed to accompany him outside.

Praise whichever Deity of Coincidence decided to grace HakYeon’s spirit that day for he spotted TaekWoon leisurely strolling down the sidewalk, donned in half of his uniform. Both HakYeon and SeJung shouted out in tune, laughing when they saw TaekWoon actually flinch from the obnoxious noise. The only reason TaekWoon stuck around was because someone’s dog was nearby, and the rock tumbler’s mask broke when the pet trotted up to him.

HakYeon swooned from the effervescent smile that radiated from TaekWoon. TaekWoon whole-heartedly ignored him.

“No, but TaekWoon-ah,” SeJung piped up, “I really don’t remember you talking about this. When are you going on vacation? Where are you going?”

“I’m so jealous!” HakYeon whined.

TaekWoon ignored them both, watching as the dog was reclaimed by its owner, sighing as both owner and pet walked off.

“Can I go with you?”

“No.”

“How about me?”

“No.”

“Where are you going, though?!” SeJung whined. “I wanna go!”

“Just because I’m ‘going on vacation’ doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going anywhere,” TaekWoon calmly replied.

“Eh? When is it, though?”

He hummed. “I dunno.”

“Liar!”

“I just got off work. I’m going home to sleep.”

“Yah! You brat!” SeJung screeched at TaekWoon’s retreating back. She flipped her hair back over her shoulder angrily. “That kid! I swear this is the first I’ve heard of this.”

“He really didn’t say anything about it?” HakYeon asked, reclining against the trunk of a tree.

Shaking her head, SeJung scooted over to sit in the shade. “But then again, he doesn’t really talk much, in general. I seriously have to have a full-blown interrogation if I want to get something out of him. He didn’t say anything to you, either?”

“Nope.” HakYeon didn’t even divulge the late-night conversation between the two with SeJung. “You know how he is.”

“You should pester him! Maybe he wants you to go with him! He never brings up stuff like that on his own, so…”

“No, I couldn’t bother him.”

He said. In reality, HakYeon was dying of curiosity. But he couldn’t figure out how he could possibly ask TaekWoon anything about this sudden vacation.

“Oh, there’s your favorite customer, hyung,” SangHyuk said, nudging HakYeon with his elbow.

“Eh?”

HakYeon turned to see TaekWoon strolling into the shop, already in uniform. TaekWoon glared at HakYeon as he made his way up to the counter. However, bright eyed and bushy tailed, HakYeon just skipped to the front to greet him.

“You make it look like it’s my fault I’m here,” HakYeon pouted. “I _work_ here. Don’t be so sour.”

TaekWoon ignored him, slapping cash onto the counter. “Latte.”

“Yes, sir! Have a seat while I _personally_ get that ready for you!”

He laughed at TaekWoon’s eye roll as both turned away. HakYeon hummed as he turned to the machines, not even noticing SangHyuk staring incredulously.

“I give up,” SangHyuk said flatly. “What happened?”

“Hm? What? Why?”

“Months ago, this guy made you cry in a corner. Now you’re acting like…” SangHyuk’s sleepy eyes grew wide. “Oh! OH! He’s your – !!”

“Really, Hyukkie, how are you only just now coming to this conclusion?”

“Yah, I haven’t seen him since that time he left his card here! Wah…”

“Please stop gawking and get back to work.”

“Speak for yourself.”

SangHyuk twisted from the pinch to his side, the coffee in the cup held by HakYeon’s other hand not even threatening to spill over the lip. HakYeon strutted to the small table where TaekWoon had perched himself, facing the window with his cell phone face up on the tabletop.

“Latte for you, sonnim,” HakYeon said brightly. “I hope you enjoy it!”

Obviously, TaekWoon ignored him but only until HakYeon pulled out the chair across from him and plopped his bottom into the seat. The glare TaekWoon shot at him pulled no reaction.

“Don’t you have work to do?” TaekWoon asked coolly.

“I do,” HakYeon replied. “But I’m choosing not to do it.”

“And your boss is fine with that?”

“No, but he’s visiting our other store. If you can’t see it, it’s not illegal.” TaekWoon narrowed his eyes at that statement but reached for the cup on the table instead of telling off the airhead across from him. HakYeon changed subjects. “You haven’t been here in forever. Why don’t you ever visit me?”

“Why should I? The coffee here is bland. There’s no way I could stay awake for even half of my shift.”

“So then come here afterwards!”

“No.”

“Meanie.”

TaekWoon’s phone on the table buzzed, both sets of eyes automatically looking to the screen. The alert on the screen showed a preview of a text message from…

“Is that your girlfriend?” HakYeon sneered.

“Yup.” TaekWoon continued his lazy sips of coffee.

“Is she excited to see you when you go on your vacation?”

“Sure.”

“Are you seriously going to Changwon?”

“No.”

“Damn it, TaekWoon-ah!” HakYeon stomped his feet like a child. “Why are you so hush-hush about this?!”

“Am I obligated to tell you my personal itinerary?”

“But even SeJung-noona doesn’t know anything about it!”

“Do I have to report to her, too?”

“I’m gonna cry.”

“Go for it.”

TaekWoon left not long after that, ignoring HakYeon’s crocodile tears as he bopped a knuckle into his skull on his way out. HakYeon pouted for the rest of his shift and suffered through SangHyuk’s wordless teasing. As he slung his apron over his shoulder that evening after he had clocked out, he pulled out his cell phone and thumbed through the contacts.

< Noona, > he typed, < how are you? >

His sister didn’t reply until he was unlocking the door to his apartment. < Oh, HakYeon-ah! Good to hear from you. I’m fine. How’s your head? >

< I’m fine, still alive. > His thumbs paused over the phone screen. < Hey, I’m just wondering… Do you know anyone named Jung TaekWoon? >

His heart picked up as he pressed the send button. The name on TaekWoon’s phone was surely just a coincidence. Surely there was another Cha JungEun somewhere in the world. His phone buzzed.

< Yeah. Why? >

Damn it all.

Fortunately, his sister replied before he could come up with a lame excuse. < You know, Oppa did say you’re not Mono anymore. By any chance… you know TaekWoon, too? >

< Well… > HakYeon couldn’t figure out how else to say it.

< ㅋㅋㅋ Don’t worry, dongsaeng. I’m not jealous or grossed out. Between me and TaekWoon, there wasn’t much connection. We didn’t turn out to be soul mates, after all. >

< Yeah, instead, you left that to me. Thanks a lot, noona ( -_-)# >

< ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ TaekWoon is a log sometimes, but he’s really a good person. You’ll see. >

HakYeon considered this a few weeks later as he took a seat in the classroom. The class was a modest size, and he was relieved to see he wasn’t the only one in the class going solo. But the various Poly couples who continuously doted on each other jabbed a pointy stick into his jealousy. He tried to focus on the giant poster of the color wheel tacked to the side of the whiteboard that had been written on with different-colored markers.

Just as the teacher was about to introduce herself, the door opened and shut again. Everyone in the class turned to see the distraction, but only HakYeon’s eyes grew into saucers.

“Sorry for being late,” TaekWoon, looking incredibly normal decked in civvies, mumbled to the teacher.

“Sure, sure. Just have a seat, and we’ll get started,” she replied.

HakYeon tracked TaekWoon all the way to where he sat, plopping himself into the desk next to HakYeon. He sighed, slouched, and dug out his phone from his pocket.

“Yah!” HakYeon hissed in a stage whisper.

“What?” TaekWoon didn’t even look up from his phone.

“What are you doing here?!”

This time, he looked up at HakYeon. “I’m on vacation.”

“Vaca– No, what are you doing _here_?!”

“I’m on vacation,” TaekWoon repeated. He jerked his chin to the front of the room where the teacher had already began her instruction. “Pay attention.”

HakYeon stared incredulously for just a bit longer before he faced the front again, a dumb grin pulling at his face.

* * *

< #24b221 >

< … blue??? >

< 땡 >

< Noooooo I hate you!!! ㅠㅠ >

< Green >

This happened a few times per day a few weeks after the Colors Class had ended. HakYeon turned out to be a bit of a dunce, so he enlisted the help of SeJung. Of course, he first tried asking TaekWoon (considering he attended alongside HakYeon each day), but TaekWoon responded with nothing, so he figured it was a dead end. SeJung, on the other hand, was very enthusiastic about the idea of being HakYeon’s tutor, and she stopped at nothing to make everything a lesson of sorts.

So when TaekWoon suddenly texted < #1212cb > to HakYeon out of nowhere, HakYeon honestly had no idea where it came from.

< What is that?? > HakYeon had replied. When TaekWoon didn’t respond after an hour, HakYeon followed up with, < Is this a secret address? >

< You’re an idiot. > TaekWoon promptly responded.

< What?!?! What is that supposed to be?!?! >

< Naver. >

< Eh? > HakYeon skipped around the website on his phone. < I don’t get it. >

< Idiot. >

< YAH!!! You’re making me mad!!! >

The next message he had received from TaekWoon was a screenshot of the Search bar on Naver’s homepage. _Oh my deity, you dunce._ HakYeon searched the mystery encryption. After some thorough clicking around, the dumb grin found his way on his face again.

< Red!! >

< 땡 >

< What?! >

< Blue >

HakYeon really was a dunce, but at least TaekWoon figured out his own way of coaching HakYeon. Now if the sunshine idiot would actually get something right.

“Wait, no. This is… blue. Right?!”

“Right!”

HakYeon quietly rejoiced with SeJung, rolling the pencil across the desk to figure out the next one. The two were back in the studio, broken off from the rest of the group to sketch near one of the large windows. With the sun shining brightly through and the panoramic third-floor view, their artistic senses were prodded to life. Medium of the day was colored pencils.

“This one is…” HakYeon caught a glance of the name of the color on the side. “… ‘Macaroni and Cheese’…? What the…?”

SeJung burst out laughing. “What kind of name is that?! Ah, but I guess the color is the same.”

“Wait. This is… yellow?”

“Hmmm… I’d say it’s more orange than yellow.”

“Orange. Orange. Okay. So then this one – ”

Violent streaks of black swept through the left side of HakYeon’s vision.

“Wah!!” He flailed, flinging the pencil in his hand across the floor. “What was that?!”

“Eh?! What?!” SeJung looked around.

HakYeon followed suit, but nothing was out of the ordinary. If anything, the rest of the group in the studio were bustling about and starting to pack up for the day, but there was no sign of anyone causing mischief. HakYeon looked back to SeJung.

“You didn’t see anything?” he asked, an odd feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

SeJung shook her head. “No. You just freaked out for a second.”

“I could’ve sworn…”

It was happening again. Something was happening again. Thick, black spots dotted his vision. There was no pattern; they appeared, heavy globs of deep black that faded almost as quickly as they appeared. HakYeon darted his eyes away, rubbing at them as if he could wipe the spots away. Maybe it worked. The last of the spots faded, and his vision was back to normal again.

“HakYeon-ah, are you okay?”

He looked up and saw SeJung staring at him warily, a bit concerned. Honestly, he felt dread, anxiety biting at the edge of his skin, and he had no idea why. The odd blotches of black that had invaded his vision left him shaken, but he shook his head. “No, I’m fine. Let’s pack up. I have to go to work after this.”

He tried to shake off the shivers that trailed up his spine and went all the way down to his fingertips, especially while handling the glass and ceramic cups and mugs of the customers of his shop. The drinks rippled in his hands as he strode across the floor. He’d never had this issue before. It felt nothing like the attacks he’d experienced before.

His phone in his apron pocket buzzed. HakYeon quickly ducked just inside the kitchen to fish out his phone, his hands freezing and shaking even though the temperature in the shop itself was normal.

< HakYeon, > SeJung had texted. There were various typos throughout the message, like her hands were unsteady as her fingers fumbled across the screen. < TaekWoon got in an accdient at work. Were going to Yonsei. Meet us there? >

“HakYeon-hyung!” SangHyuk’s voice was _too loud_. “Table four was wondering…”

HakYeon looked up. SangHyuk had frozen halfway through the door between the front and the kitchen. He was staring at HakYeon with some odd expression.

“Hyung… What – ?”

“I have to go.” HakYeon’s voice didn’t sound like his own in his ears. His hands moved mechanically as he reached behind his back to pull at the knot of his apron; it felt like they were reaching somewhere far away. “Tell… Tell SunHo-nim that I had to go. Sorry. You can take care of it here, right?”

“Yeah, I… SungJae-hyung and everyone else is here. It’s fine.”

“Sorry.”

HakYeon pushed past the giant youth, tossing his apron in some direction without even paying attention to where it landed. He ignored the questioning looks some of the customers gave him as he blindly strode the long trail to the front door – was it normally this long?

For some reason, the door was heavy. He leaned his weight against it and realized he was the one feeling heavy and weak. The late-afternoon sun was glaring across the street, the shadows growing longer.

The shadows…

HakYeon froze. The people across the street were walking along without incident, as if their clothes weren’t just dissolving into _gray_. The couple at the corner taking a selca didn’t even notice the sky fading into _gray_. The flower pinwheel that hung from the awning of the coffee shop HakYeon had just stumbled out of continued to spin lightly from the breeze, its petals forming a dizzying ring of _gray_.

The ice in HakYeon’s stomach turned over. He collapsed to his knees as the world around him dissolved to black, white, and the gray in between.


	5. Chapter 5

He didn’t go to the hospital.

“ _He went out on a dangerous call. They said something about hostages and whatever. There was an explosion, and he got shot a few times because he gave his vest to one of the hostages._ ”

“ _He’s still in the ICU. He’s having trouble breathing by himself. The burns are…_ ”

“ _HakYeon-ah, when are you coming? Please call me back…_ ”

HakYeon deleted the voice mails after he listened to them. SeJung’s wavering voice did nothing to reassure him. He didn’t even bother with the bundles of text messages that flooded his notifications. He just swiped them away and dropped his phone to the floor.

The shock was still apparent, that was for sure. More than the slightly mortifying fact that it had been the second time HakYeon melted into a mass of tears at his workplace, the violent millisecond explosions of vivid color that burst through HakYeon’s blurred vision jarred his coherent thoughts. He was already stumbling into his room in his apartment before he even realized he had left.

Now he was jammed into his corner again, balled up tightly to hold himself together. But he kept his eyes trained on the stack of his paintings set against the wall. The colors were back, but they wavered, sometimes blurring together and sometimes fading to de-saturated hues. HakYeon would hold his breath until they steadied again.

He couldn’t keep track of the days that went by. In order to ensure that he’d be able to check the colors – to make sure TaekWoon was still _alive_ – he always kept the light on in his room. He phased in and out of sleep, never sure of how long he slept or what time it happened to be.

His phone rang. It shocked him out of his doze, and he picked it up without thinking.

“Hello?” His voice was still strange.

Obviously, the person on the other side wasn’t expecting him to answer. There was a bit of a shuffle before the voice came through from the other side. “Hello? HakYeon-ah?”

“SeJung-noona…”

“Oh my God, finally. I’ve been so worried about you, too. You never called me back or replied to my messages, and I rarely leave the hospital, so I didn’t know if you…”

She trailed off. HakYeon tried to clear his throat. “TaekWoon is… How is he?”

“He’s doing better, actually. He sort of woke up the other day, and they said if he does well overnight, they may move him from ICU.”

“Oh…”

They lapsed into silence again.

“HakYeon-ah.” SeJung’s voice seemed small. “When will you come here?” HakYeon didn’t reply. “I know it must be scary, but please… I know TaekWoon wants to see you, too. When he wakes up, he’s always looking around like he’s looking for someone. I know he wants to see you. HakYeon, _please_.”

“Noona… I…” HakYeon gritted his teeth. “I want to, but…”

“I know, HakYeon. It has to be so scary for you. I’ll go with you, if you want me to.”

“No, noona, I just… I’ll go. Just not right now. I’m sorry.”

He needed to get himself together before he could even think of seeing TaekWoon. HakYeon had almost never budged from his corner, only pushing himself up to stumble to the bathroom and sometimes to the kitchen to force down water. Food was beyond his capabilities at the moment, but it would do no good for anyone if HakYeon dragged himself over to the hospital looking like a zombie.

It was still another day or two – or three? – before HakYeon could manage to convince himself to go to the hospital. He had already texted SeJung before he set out, and she excitedly texted him back, informing him of TaekWoon’s improvement and giving him a step-by-step tutorial on how to get to TaekWoon’s room. HakYeon could already feel the anxiety building in him again.

SeJung greeted him at the elevator, her parents right behind her. Only then did HakYeon realize he hadn’t seen them at all after he met TaekWoon for the first time. Before, he would occasionally visit the family on SeJung’s invitation and sometimes stay for dinner, but it never crossed his mind to actually tell the parents about…

Wait… Did they even know about TaekWoon and HakYeon? Apparently, TaekWoon never talks.

No, SeJung is a part of the family, too. There’s no way they couldn’t know.

All of this blazed through HakYeon’s mind when he stepped out of the elevator and spotted the Jung family close by. Everyone looked worn and tired, but their expressions lit up at the familiar face.

“Ah, HakYeon-sshi.” The mother patted him affectionately. “You poor thing. You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”

He laughed nervously. It was the truth. “I’m fine, though. I hope you’ve been doing well.”

“Well… You know. But SeJung said you were coming. All of us can be at ease, hopefully.”

The parents walked past to get into an elevator, leaving the two friends alone. SeJung reached out to lightly pull on HakYeon’s sleeve.

“Come on.” Her voice was a bit hushed. “I’ll go with you.”

His heart thudded wildly deep in his chest, each step causing him to tense up more and more. He thought he might suffer from a heart attack before they would even reach TaekWoon’s room, but they stopped at a door left slightly ajar. SeJung turned to HakYeon and gave him an encouraging smile.

Even the sound of day couldn’t cut through the heavy stillness of a hospital. The bright view of the window didn’t offset the stiffness of the angles of the room. HakYeon fought to keep his gaze low until he was completely in the room. SeJung guided him from behind with her hands on his shoulders until he reached the foot of the bed. He looked up.

So maybe he didn’t look as bad as what HakYeon imagined. Maybe HakYeon didn’t imagine any state TaekWoon was in. But, out of his tough-guy uniform and donned in sterilized hospital get-up, he looked small and vulnerable. From the left side of his face down to his left arm and maybe more that was concealed by the hospital gown and sheets was raw skin, marred from burn wounds, glossy from probably the medicine, gauze wrapped in various stripes up his left arm. Smaller squares of gauze were placed on the left side of his face to keep the elastic band of an air mask from aggravating the injured skin. His breaths were short and shallow, his chest barely moving. At least he seemed to be asleep.

HakYeon wandered from the foot of the bed to TaekWoon’s right side, too afraid to touch anything in case he might upset the delicate balance everything seemed to teeter upon. But he still felt so far away, so he slowly, tentatively reached out with one hand to TaekWoon’s free hand. On the surface, maybe due to the cold room, his skin was chilled to the touch. HakYeon wrapped both of his hands around TaekWoon’s cold fingers, taking care to avoid the pulse oximeter clipped to TaekWoon’s index finger.

He thought maybe it was the odd lighting. TaekWoon’s skin never looked this way. But focusing on his own hands, HakYeon realized the color of his own skin was a bit muddled. It was like someone was playing with a slider, fading the colors in and out.

He knelt next to the bed, pressing TaekWoon’s fingers to his forehead, almost as if he was in prayer.

_TaekWoon… TaekWoon…_

* * *

HakYeon woke to something pulling on his arm.

He first had to remember he had fallen asleep in a chair at the hospital, awkwardly hunched over the side of TaekWoon’s bed. Lifting his head after sleeping for – he doesn’t know – how long was a bit of a task until he saw what roused him from his sleep.

TaekWoon’s hand, a bit too weak to maintain a good grip, pulled at HakYeon’s wrist. HakYeon snapped his gaze up and saw sleepy eyes staring back at him.

“TaekWoon!” TaekWoon kept insistently pulling at HakYeon’s arm, so HakYeon jumped to his feet to hover over him. “What… What is it? Is something wrong?”

But TaekWoon just blinked slowly and remained silent. At some point during HakYeon’s slumber, someone had taken off the air mask. TaekWoon’s breaths were still short as he curled his fingers around HakYeon’s hand. HakYeon dragged the chair closer to the bed so he could halfway settle back into it, nestling his cheek against TaekWoon’s knuckles.

TaekWoon slipped his hand from HakYeon and poked at HakYeon’s forehead. Slightly disconcerted, HakYeon let out a nervous laugh. “What was that for?”

He didn’t respond again, choosing instead to run his fingertips lightly along HakYeon’s face. He passed over the worry between HakYeon’s brows until it smoothed out, traced the dark circles beneath his eyes. Finally, TaekWoon slowly sucked in a breath, seeming like he was trying to prepare an epic speech.

“Sorry…” It came out as a feeble whisper, so TaekWoon tried again, his voice somewhat stronger. “I’m sorry…”

“Yah… What are you saying?” HakYeon reclaimed TaekWoon’s hand again. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“You saw it… didn’t you?”

He knew it without TaekWoon explaining. The chilling memory of the angry streaks and globs of black bubbled up in his mind, his hand involuntarily closing a little bit tighter around TaekWoon’s.

TaekWoon knew that HakYeon knew. “I saw it… that time. Your accident… I’m sorry…”

Just from that, TaekWoon seemed to be winded. He screwed his eyes shut, the effort of speaking causing his brow to furrow a bit. His breaths became even shallower, and the colors in HakYeon’s eyes started to swim, blurring in and out.

“Stop that.” HakYeon’s words were hardly scolding, more of a plea. “You don’t have to apologize. Just relax, okay? Don’t talk anymore. You need to rest.”

TaekWoon lightly squeezed HakYeon’s hands in response. As he fought to normalize his breathing, he opened his eyes again to stare down at HakYeon, but then they swiftly shot to the direction of the door. HakYeon looked over his shoulder to see all three of TaekWoon’s sisters quietly tiptoeing into the room.

“Ah!” SeJung squeaked. “You’re both awake! So we don’t have to be quiet.”

“You still have to be quiet,” HyeJung, the eldest, replied flatly.

The second, YouJung, waved brightly at HakYeon from behind the two. “Hi, HakYeon-ah! Long time no see!”

“Aren’t you two being a bit too loud and cheery?”

SeJung frowned at her apparent dark void of an eldest sister. “But it needs to be cheery!”

Ignoring the flower fairy of a youngest sister, HyeJung locked her cold eyes onto HakYeon’s, and he tensed up in fear. “You can go down to eat. We’ll be here.”

“Er…” That was nothing short of him being booted out. “Right. Okay.”

He made to leave – making a hasty escape lest he desired the icy wrath that was HyeJung – but he was held back. TaekWoon was still holding his hand, and HakYeon saw as resentment flew through TaekWoon’s eyes. Really, HakYeon wasn’t too keen on leaving, either.

“I’m just going downstairs,” he reassured TaekWoon. “I’ll come back, okay?”

He slipped his hand from TaekWoon’s and awkwardly shuffled his way past the sisters, glancing back in time to see TaekWoon shoot a glare aimed at HyeJung. He hadn’t even reached the elevator when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Digging it out, he made note of the starving battery indicator.

A text from SeJung. < Sorry ^^; I guess unnie is still sour that you stole our baby brother ㅋㅋ >

Well, there’s always at least one person in the family who doesn’t approve.

_Thunk._

HakYeon didn’t even step away from the vending machine on the bottom floor before he started chugging from the bottle of water he bought. When was the last time he drank something? More than that, when was the last time he ate something? At least he wasn’t feeling sick yet. But he should maybe try at some point.

“You look like a skeleton!” a voice shouted nearby.

HakYeon looked up to see who the loud voice belonged to and promptly choked on the water he was in the middle of gulping down. “J… JaeHwan-ah!”

“Excuse you, I am _Doctor_ Lee JaeHwan.” But the idiot in the white coat grinned. “Good to see you, hyung. Minus the fact that you may or may not have been denying yourself nourishment for at least two weeks.”

HakYeon glanced upward, trying to calculate. “I just… don’t have the appetite. I don’t think I’d be able to keep anything down.”

“That’s no-no. How can you watch over your beloved if you don’t wake up due to starvation?” JaeHwan dramatically clasped his hands in front of his chest and gazed up at the bright light shining down on them, courtesy of the fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling.

“You’re an idio… Wait, you knew I was here?”

“Well, you’re in a hospital, aren’t you? You’re obviously not here to treat yourself. In any case, I’m assigned to Officer Jung TaekWoon, and thanks to your ugly, sleeping mug being in the way, the nurses and I had a hard time trying to switch the IV bags.”

“Er… Sorry.”

“I was just kidding. We’ve had worse.” JaeHwan bumped HakYeon aside so he could ponder over the vending machine’s wares. “At least I can tell WonShikkie that you two are getting along fine. Here.” JaeHwan shoved a banana milk at HakYeon. “Sustain yourself with this. Doctor’s orders.”

The two migrated from the vending machine in order to not impede business. HakYeon drank the banana milk in measured sips, not quite sure where his limit was just yet.

“I’m curious about one thing,” HakYeon started. “This thing happened… before I found out TaekWoon got in an accident…”

“Describe it,” JaeHwan replied.

“It was really weird. All of a sudden, there were random black things going through my vision, and then they were gone. Is there something wrong with my eyes?”

“Nope. It’s completely normal. I saw it before, too.”

HakYeon’s eyebrows arched up in surprise. “ _You_ did?! What happened?!”

“I punched WonShik. It was in the name of science!” JaeHwan quickly added, seeing HakYeon’s incredulous expression. “He was making me mad, anyway. In any case, there’s already been plenty of research on this condition before. While not everyone has this connection with their soul mate, it’s still pretty common.

“There’s still no definite traits regarding what kind of people have this condition. So far, from data collected, no one has found an absolute connection between them. But the hypothesis goes as such: One meets his or her soul mate. If for any reason, the soul mate’s life is physically threatened, that causes the sensory nerves for the significant other to go haywire, commonly in the form of black streaks or dots – just like you said. There are other forms like only seeing one color or colors going completely opposite. Obviously, if one dies, the other loses the colors completely.”

HakYeon felt a shiver run down his spine. “That happened…”

JaeHwan nodded. “And I’m sure you saw the explosions of color, too, when they used the defibrillator to restart TaekWoon’s heart.” HakYeon lost whatever meager appetite he had left. JaeHwan nodded again. “It’s normal. Unpleasant, obviously, but very normal. Were you worried that you were going crazy?”

“Maybe… I still don’t get a lot of this Poly business…”

“It comes with time and experience. And _socializing_.” JaeHwan jabbed HakYeon in the side. “Call me or WonShik up more often. And don’t forget to eat. Doctor’s orders.”

HakYeon was already stepping out of the elevator when he received another text message. < HyeJung-unnie is gone, so you don’t have to be afraid, but omg plz come back >

He was just around the corner, so he didn’t bother with texting back. His steps quickened as he got closer to the door, and by the time, he passed through the frame, he may or may not have looked a bit harried. Apparently, YouJung left, too.

SeJung jumped up from the chair next to the bed, a childish pout on her face. “HakYeon-ah! It’s about time! Tell this idiot to go to sleep!”

“Eh?”

HakYeon looked to the bed. TaekWoon was still there, in the same state as he was before, but he was blinking heavily, repeatedly, like he was keeping himself from drifting off. HakYeon crossed to where SeJung stood, and TaekWoon, spotting him, immediately reached out his good hand toward him.

HakYeon took it without question. “Why? What happened?”

SeJung huffed. “The nurses came in to give him some medicine, and they said it might make him sleepy, but he may as well because he needs to rest, but he wouldn’t go to sleep unless you were here!”

“Eh?” HakYeon looked down again. Sure enough, TaekWoon’s eyes had already closed, and his shallow breaths had calmed. His hand clutched HakYeon’s as if HakYeon was his lifeline.

* * *

HakYeon’s phone charger was always plugged into the wall. JaeHwan came to expect HakYeon to be there, and when he wasn’t, WonShik was calling HakYeon’s phone immediately. TaekWoon’s family filtered in and out, and maybe, eventually, HyeJung started to get used to the idea that HakYeon would always be there. HakYeon learned how to sleep in a chair every night without permanently twisting his spine out of place, waking up with TaekWoon’s palm resting along the long column of his neck.

 It took time before TaekWoon’s breathing went back to being long and slow, before he could speak in more than fragmented sentences without losing his breath, before he could manage to sit up for a little bit with help. It was enough that he was sick of the hospital – and maybe of JaeHwan – that he started to convince them that he wanted to go home.

“If you’re so bent on it, you obviously have to come back home,” SeJung retorted. “As in our house. Not your apartment.”

HakYeon silently agreed. That day, TaekWoon didn’t sit up for long before he started to get dizzy and had to lay down again. His right arm was thrown over his eyes as he tried to make the feeling go away.

“You child,” his mother quipped. “What do you think you’re gonna be able to do in an apartment all by yourself, huh? Who’s gonna help you if you pass out and hit your head, huh? You live on the eighth floor! You haven’t even been able to stand up yet!”

TaekWoon pulled his arm down with a sigh. HakYeon had surrendered his customary chair to the mother, and he and SeJung were positioned at the foot of the bed. Even if he wasn’t physically in the middle of it, he felt a bit awkward having to listen to the family squawk back and forth about the issue. He caught TaekWoon’s gaze, reading some sort of desperate look in his eyes.

He coughed. “Erm… Omonim, I could help TaekWoon. It’s no trouble to me.”

The mother shot a look at HakYeon, and then she turned back to her son, delivering a quick smack on his wrist to which he quickly reacted with a hiss as he yanked his hand back. “You brat! Don’t think I didn’t see that! Who do you think you are?! Do you think HakYeon is only there to wait on you, hand and foot?!”

HakYeon quickly jumped forward, trying to appease her. “A-ah! No, really! There’s no trouble for me at all!”

She rounded on him, and he flinched backwards into SeJung. “Says who?! How long have you skipped work to sleep over here?! Have you even paid your rent to your own apartment yet?!”

“I have! And I already told my boss about everything, and he’s fine with it!”

Mother scoffed at him, muttering under her breath about how nice it must be to be so young and ignorant. TaekWoon seemed to have recovered enough, waving away the sting on his hand with a huff.

“Er… Either way,” HakYeon said diplomatically, “we can at least agree that TaekWoon still isn’t in a state to where he can be discharged just yet. So at least for now, we can still work out the arrangements for when that time comes.”

However, JaeHwan – for all the nosiness (no pun intended) that he was worth – skipped into the room during his rounds later that day to inform them TaekWoon’s department wouldn’t pay for compensation much longer, so the prospective future held either hospital bills or house arrest. HakYeon helped SeJung hold back her fuming mother from JaeHwan (because JaeHwan wasn’t responsible so why was she yelling at him?) and tried to redirect her focus to what her decision for TaekWoon would be.

“Do as you please, then, you brats!” she screeched, the kids cowering behind the hospital bed. She was already on the phone with her husband as she stormed out the door.

So began JaeHwan’s ultimate crash course which covered everything from physical therapy through the various prescription medications up to basic caretaking of an invalid – to which TaekWoon chucked the closest physical object at JaeHwan; he missed, his non-dominant right hand’s aim regretfully a bit off center. JaeHwan spoke so quickly that HakYeon’s head began to hurt from everything he was saying.

“This one, you definitely need to make sure he takes all of it in a timely manner, and make sure he finishes it! Don’t slack! This one, though, _only_ if he really needs it! If he takes too much, he’ll become an idiot, and I don’t want to deal with that. As for this one, keep applying this especially to the more hot spots, mainly his upper arm and neck. Let me know if you run out. Now, we’ve barely started on getting him to stand because the muscle tissue in his leg where he got shot is still repairing itself. You don’t want to try that just yet, at least, not for a couple of weeks. Hollow points are ridiculous.”

“Wait, what are hollow points?”

“Don’t worry about it.” HakYeon’s phone was somehow in JaeHwan’s hands. “I’ll put myself on speed dial in case you need me. Call me every now and then so we can make WonShikkie jealous.”

“What.”

HakYeon had no clue what he’d gotten himself into. Could he really manage all of this? Sure, SeJung and other family members said they would help, as well, but HakYeon was the one who’d jumped up and volunteered himself. He caught TaekWoon staring at him once as he shuffled through the papers JaeHwan had given him, growing doubtful of his own capabilities with each page he read. TaekWoon was staring at him with some sort of vexed expression on his face, and when HakYeon asked him about it, he just shook his head and looked up to the ceiling, quiet and blank.

Finally, about a week and a half later, came the day of moving. The Jung family moved in fast forward all around them, driving back and forth trying to get everything ready, moving items from the hospital room up to the apartment. All the while, with help from JaeHwan and some nurses, HakYeon slowly transitioned TaekWoon from being an immobile in-patient to being a partially handicapped civilian. Still getting accustomed to all of the motion, TaekWoon held his head in his right hand to fend off the vertigo as they unhurriedly rolled him in a wheelchair to the elevator. HakYeon didn’t even have the time to fret over him since JaeHwan was stuffing more information into his ears.

It seemed like everything leaked out of his brain during the car ride to TaekWoon’s apartment.

If it wasn’t for the massive collection of flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals set everywhere with messages and cards wishing TaekWoon to get well soon, the apartment would’ve been sparse and minimalistic. HakYeon saw maybe a living room table, a loveseat, and a small lamp. However, he was a little preoccupied with helping TaekWoon’s father navigate one-able-legged TaekWoon through the narrow space to his bedroom; of course the wheelchair wouldn’t fit through the doorway.

For a while, everyone was fussing about again. TaekWoon’s father left to return the wheelchair to the hospital, the mother lingered to make sure everything from the kitchen to the closet was stocked and readily available, the sisters whirled about as they gave HakYeon a tutorial of everything in the apartment.

“I didn’t even know he had an apartment,” HakYeon had admitted, embarrassed.

But SeJung just chuckled. “He got it about a month after he moved back up here, but he spends half of his time here and half of his time at home. Mom tells him he may as well just stay at home if he’s gonna do that, and then that’s when he sleeps here.”

Even after the Jung family finally filtered out after a long time of bustling around, HakYeon was still padding swiftly through the space, making sure everything was in order, arranging and rearranging everything, never stopping to sit down. It seemed TaekWoon finally got sick of it as he grabbed on to HakYeon’s sleeve when he got close enough and pulled him down. He had a futon – not a western-style bed – so HakYeon floundered a bit, thrown off balance, and tried to not land on TaekWoon as he knelt.

“What is it? Do you need something?”

Of course, he didn’t reply, but he held on to HakYeon’s sleeve. For the most part, after they had dropped him to the futon upon arrival, TaekWoon had laid back to catch his breath while everyone blurred around him. He still looked drowsy, and briefly, HakYeon wondered if it was yet time for the first round of meds he’d have to administer. He chose instead to rearrange his sitting position so that he could comfortably perch on the floor next to the futon, his sleeve still in TaekWoon’s grasp. He gently pushed long bangs from TaekWoon’s eyes, passing his fingers through his hair a little longer than necessary. TaekWoon didn’t protest, letting his eyelids flutter closed.


	6. Chapter 6

Half of the time, HakYeon felt like he knew what he was doing. The other half… self-explanatory. Part of it was that TaekWoon was still his mute self, and HakYeon never quite knew how to read the giant amoeba. Sometimes TaekWoon was clingy and minutely affectionate, but then he’d go to sleep and wake up distant and aloof. He grumbled sometimes when HakYeon had to shake him awake to take his meds; HakYeon had to wake up in the middle of the night, too, so maybe he shouldn’t be so darn selfish.

Of course, the family made their appearances, the mother being the obvious most frequent, often laden with bags of containers of food, enough to last them through a week. If TaekWoon was asleep when she visited, she fussed over HakYeon, insisting he sit down and eat while she ran the washing machine. If TaekWoon was awake, she obviously fussed over her son even more. When the sisters visited, they usually made a lot of noise, and TaekWoon would feign slumber just so they would go away.

He tried to at least make it seem like he knew what he was doing. HakYeon knew he didn’t have to keep up appearances in front of TaekWoon – at least, he _thought_ he didn’t have to – but he still felt self-conscious, judging himself if he didn’t follow through with the haphazard promise he made. So he dutifully kept up with everything, consulting JaeHwan when something slipped his mind. Of course, he wasn’t a professional, so he slipped up every so often, but TaekWoon just patiently laid by until HakYeon stopped freaking out. The meds were easy to handle; the physical therapy, not as much.

And _bathing_. HakYeon had screeched like a little girl when TaekWoon first pitched the idea out loud, to which TaekWoon responded with a very healthy eye-roll.

“Grow up,” he muttered.

HakYeon continued to flounder even as TaekWoon managed to throw off his shirt, but he sobered up quickly at the sight of TaekWoon’s bare back, the sight of the angry welts, still-fresh scars of bullet wounds. There was one certainly much too close to where his heart was. It was nothing like the burn scars that went up his left side. TaekWoon looked questioningly over his shoulder at HakYeon, realizing he had suddenly stopped fussing. HakYeon just shook his head and stood to help lift TaekWoon to his feet.

HakYeon was changing the water in the vases of the flowers when he heard a knock at the door. He didn’t think much of it, plucking up a towel to dry off his hands as he scooted across the room to open the door.

Someone he didn’t know was on the other side.

The stranger looked shocked to see HakYeon, as well. He seemed to be about the same height, posture awkward from the modest bouquet he cradled in one arm. His large eyes grew a bit wider, darting around confusedly.

“Er… Ah.” His voice was lower than what HakYeon expected. “You must be…”

“Cha HakYeon,” he offered. “You are…?”

“Ah, I knew it. I’m Lee HongBin.” He bowed immediately. “I work with TaekWoon-hyung.”

“Oh! Nice to meet you. Come in.” HakYeon stepped back to let HongBin in. “Is this from you?”

“What? Oh, this?” He held up the vase. “No, this is from someone else. The courier just handed it off to me since I was going to the same apartment. Lazy little…”

HakYeon peered at the card and almost burst out laughing at the name of the sender.

[ _HakYeon-hyung! Come back to work! Other-hyung, get well so HakYeon-hyung can come back to work… -Hyogie & HaRin_]

He’d have to pester that kid later. “You came to see TaekWoon, right? I think he’s awake. Did you want anything to drink? Water or anything?”

“Ah, no. I was just dropping by on my way home from work. Thanks, though.”

_He has a nice smile_ , HakYeon thought to himself, watching as HongBin easily maneuvered his way to TaekWoon’s lair. The vase SangHyuk had sent, at least, wouldn’t need watering; it was a bouquet of small balloons with stems of thin plastic. Where on earth did that kid even find this sort of thing? Ah, that reminded him. HakYeon tried to be as un-intrusive as possible as he slipped an arm (and maybe a cheekbone) in and out of TaekWoon’s room to quickly grab his phone. The low conversation between the two continued, uninterrupted. HakYeon didn’t think about the small smile that played on TaekWoon’s face as he conversed with HongBin.

< You goofy, > HakYeon texted. < Do you miss me that much? How did you know where to send it? >

To be honest, he never considered it, TaekWoon’s personal life. It should’ve been obvious. HakYeon himself has numerous friends, his own family, a job, and a life, so surely TaekWoon would have the same; HakYeon is best friends with TaekWoon’s sister, after all. He’s not sure why he’s suddenly thrown by the appearance of HongBin. If anything, maybe this person is TaekWoon’s equivalent to what SeJung is to HakYeon. Maybe HongBin knows everything about TaekWoon, contrary to anything HakYeon thinks he knows.

< Hyung, I’m tired ㅠㅠ Me and SungJae have been working double to cover for you, and SunHo-nim won’t let us off! Did you like HaRin’s bouquet? We had to go through a bunch of people before we figured out where to send it >

< Tell her it’s lovely, and thank you. I don’t really know when I’ll be back. >

Light footsteps brought HakYeon’s attention up from his phone. HongBin was quietly making his way out from TaekWoon’s room. He grinned when he caught HakYeon’s gaze. “I’m heading out now. I think he’s about to fall asleep. Thanks for taking care of him.”

“Ah, yeah. It’s nothing.”

He had a sort of mischievous glint in the way he smiled at HakYeon as he turned to leave, like he knew something HakYeon didn’t. Of course he did.

HakYeon quickly turned to check on TaekWoon. He seemed to have drifted off, stirring a bit when HakYeon settled on the floor next to the futon.

_What am I doing?_

In the end, when TaekWoon was finally well enough to be self-sufficient, what would happen to them? Would it just be everything all over again, the random silences of a month or more with the occasional coffee break? It had seemed like they had gotten closer in the last few months, but… was that just HakYeon’s selfish thinking? In the end…

HakYeon almost didn’t catch TaekWoon’s gaze. Just as he looked down, TaekWoon’s head turned away, eyes closing.

In the end…

HakYeon couldn’t rid the poisonous thoughts from his mind. His head hurt when he wasn’t doing anything, so he bustled about the apartment even more, trying to get chores to numb his mind. It didn’t work when he was with TaekWoon.

Session of the day was TaekWoon’s left hand. JaeHwan had told HakYeon something about damage in the something tissue in his hand from the burns, so he would need to work on getting the muscles to wake up again. The easiest thing HakYeon found was to press his palm and fingers flat against TaekWoon’s and slowly pull away, encouraging TaekWoon to keep his hand splayed open. Some days it worked. Others… self-explanatory.

“Yah,” HakYeon sighed. “Are you even trying?”

“Of course I am,” TaekWoon grumbled.

He sighed again and pushed up the curled fingers to point up. “Okay, we’ll try again.”

He knew TaekWoon was trying. It was very obvious from his expression, concentration causing his brow to furrow. But apparently the muscles were against him that day. He only managed to hold his hand open for a millisecond after HakYeon pulled his hand away before the fingers curled in again, an exasperated sigh falling from TaekWoon’s lips. HakYeon kept his own sigh in.

“It’s just a bad day,” he offered brightly. “We can try again later.”

His voice didn’t match his mood, though. The poisonous thoughts had been brewing harder, and HakYeon almost wanted to run from the apartment, maybe dunk his head in the river to wash out his brain.

HakYeon’s mind snapped to as TaekWoon’s fingers slipped past his own, TaekWoon’s hand closing around his own. He stared at their entwined hands for a second, looking up to glance at TaekWoon’s face, and he froze at the expression he saw.

“I’m sorry…” TaekWoon mumbled.

“Eh? What for?”

TaekWoon kept his gaze down, looking guilty for one reason or another. He didn’t speak for a bit as he searched for the words to say. “I used to think… this whole Mono and Poly business was stupid. What deity had the right to decide these things for us? What if… two people who were meant to match… weren’t meant to be matched? I wondered if everyone in the world was really happy with this set up. And I think I ended up convincing myself that maybe the system was wrong. Somewhere down the line, someone would be matched to the wrong person.

“I ended up convincing myself that everyone else had this mindset. I thought the same thing about you. I thought you were only humoring it because it’s what was to be expected, so I tried to keep away just so you wouldn’t feel obligated to stick with me. But there were times… when I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know if you were just trying hard or genuinely…”

TaekWoon finally looked up into HakYeon’s eyes. “So… I’m sorry… that you ended up like this. I don’t know how you must be feeling right now, skipping out on your own life because you have to be tied to mine.”

HakYeon took in a slow breath, processing TaekWoon’s longest speech ever. “So… even through all this, what is your honest feeling about being matched with me?”

“I…” TaekWoon paused, seemingly suddenly very conscious of their hands still intertwined.

“Because honestly,” HakYeon lifted his other hand to push back long bangs from TaekWoon’s eyes, “even if I met you a million times in a million different lives, I would want to be matched with no one but you.” TaekWoon tensed at his words, and HakYeon laughed, feeling like he’d probably jumped in the river and washed his entire being clean. “I really do love everything about you, TaekWoon, even if it’s just fate saying so.”

TaekWoon didn’t answer, but HakYeon could see his own burdened expression melting away. He was too tickled by the whole development that he barely noticed himself slowly leaning in towards TaekWoon. For a moment, it almost seemed like TaekWoon would go with it, but he suddenly flushed and recoiled back, face redder than a stop sign. HakYeon burst out laughing as he ruffled TaekWoon’s hair. He didn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to the top of TaekWoon’s head, though. And TaekWoon, still blushing, closed his hand a little tighter around HakYeon’s.

* * *

HakYeon froze just inside the front door. “What are you doing?”

TaekWoon, out of breath and somewhat pale, was standing and holding himself up with one hand gripping the doorframe of his room. “Just thought I’d try.”

“Are you okay? Do you want me to help?”

“No.” HakYeon had tossed the grocery bags he was previously carrying to the floor, was in the process of hurriedly slipping out of his shoes, but halted immediately at TaekWoon’s protest. “Let me do it.”

He hesitated, gauging the determination in TaekWoon’s eyes, before he grinned and threw open his arms. “Then… Greet me at the door.”

TaekWoon responded with an exasperated glare. “Do you know how long it took me just to get up to here?”

“Fine, fine.” HakYeon quickly scooted over to the small, dining-room table which was considerably closer and threw his arms out again. “How about here?”

TaekWoon didn’t speak, only sucking in a deep breath. His first step, he kept his hold on the doorframe. The next step was fine; that was his good leg. The third step he wobbled, and HakYeon fought to keep himself from jumping forward. Finally, after a nerve-wracking, not-really-a-large-amount- but-it-certainly-felt-like-it span of time, TaekWoon grabbed hold of HakYeon’s forearms and gratefully leaned his weight against him.

“Wah! You did it!” HakYeon cheered.

TaekWoon’s face was ashen. “I feel like I’m about to die.”

“But don’t do that. Here!” Still holding on to TaekWoon, HakYeon leaned over to pull a chair over. “Sit down and rest while I start cooking.”

TaekWoon flopped to the seat like a rag doll. “You cook?”

“Um… I’m not a professional chef, but I can manage. I’ve lived this long eating my own food, you know?”

“You could’ve adapted.”

“Or you could just trust me.”

As TaekWoon relaxed against the table, HakYeon whisked his way to the kitchen, having retrieved the discarded bags by the front door, and immediately set to work.

“He said they’re going to give me a medal,” TaekWoon said.

“Eh? Who? HongBin?”

“Mm. The bank that was held up is. HongBin told me. And they’re paying for the rest of my leave.”

HakYeon whistled, his brows lifting slightly. “Wow. That’s pretty generous.”

“They didn’t have any casualties, after all.”

“Is that why you’re in such a rush to walk?”

“Maybe.”

TaekWoon carefully watched HakYeon as he busied himself in the small kitchen. In turn, HakYeon tried not to bend under pressure. One would think after playing caretaker, something like cooking wouldn’t be any different. HakYeon tried to throw out small talk every so often to keep himself from cracking, and TaekWoon responded easily.

“Done!”

TaekWoon leaned over, inspecting the modest meal before him.

“Don’t judge my presentation,” HakYeon huffed. “These are the only dishes you have.”

“Did you put green onions?”

“Eh? There’s some.”

“Why do they look weird?”

“None of your business.”

“Why are they cut so weird?”

“Just eat the damn food!”

TaekWoon snorted and obediently picked up the spoon, and HakYeon froze as he took the first bite, maybe not realizing he was holding his breath. For a while, TaekWoon sat silently.

He looked straight at HakYeon. “It’s gross.”

“Unappreciative brat! I’ll go throw it away, then!”

“Go away.” TaekWoon instead pulled the dishes toward him and continued to eat. “You aren’t eating?”

“I’ll eat later. I’m not hungry right now.”

TaekWoon got about halfway through the meal before he stared over at HakYeon again. He didn’t say anything for a bit, so HakYeon slightly quirked his brows up, questioning.

“Talk to me.”

“Hm? I was talking to you, wasn’t I?”

“No.” TaekWoon’s eyes searched around. “Before… You used to just talk non-stop about nothing. And everything. Ever since the accident, you stopped talking.”

When he thought about it, it was true. HakYeon smiled and propped his chin on the heel of his hand. “Okay. What do you want me to talk about?”

He watched as TaekWoon’s eyes fell slightly downward, his stare trailing to his arm before darting back up to his eyes. HakYeon knew what he saw, tensing slightly. Noting the slight reaction, TaekWoon returned his attention to the food before him.

“Sorry. You don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine.” HakYeon sat up straight, stretching his arms in front of him, the faint, pale lines that ran up the length of the inside of his forearms a contrast to his duskier skin tone. “I was going to tell you at some point, anyway.

“This was when I was around… 14 years old? It was a while ago. They said I was going through a phase, something like I was just looking for attention. Maybe it was true. I was behind my three older siblings, and I didn’t get much recognition for what I did in school or whatnot because there was always something else. Even if I shut myself in my room for a long time, no one knew.

“At first, I started with my knees. If I just wore pants all the time, no one would find out. It got harder to hide when the warmer weather came, though. But then there was something that happened that made me snap. I don’t even really remember what it was. I just remember my brother, that Taekwondo idiot, kicking down the door of the bathroom.” HakYeon laughed. “Afterwards, my family never let him off about that.”

HakYeon laid his arms on the table before them, exposing the scars. “I cut the long way rather than across, and I ended up passing out from losing too much blood. I got to the hospital in time, of course, and they made me stay there under suicide watch for at least a week, I think. But even after I could go home, I was under constant surveillance. It was such a change from before. My brother paid the most attention to me and was as bothersome as possible. But I think, thanks to him, coming back from that whole thing was easier.”

He noticed TaekWoon’s more-solemn-than-usual expression, so he smiled again. “I’m fine now, though. It took time, but I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

TaekWoon’s eyes were searching again. “But that time when I called you… Was that…?”

“Ah, yeah… That happens sometimes. They’re kinda like flashbacks, maybe, but it never lasts anything longer than a day! I can usually just sleep it off.” HakYeon was getting a skeptical glare in reply, so he sat up straight. “Okay! Finish your food, and then we’ll try walking again!”

Just like it took time before HakYeon could smile again, it took time before TaekWoon was steady on his feet by himself. It took time before he finally set foot outside of his apartment and could breathe the clear air. It took time before the two were easily strolling through the city, never in a rush.

“Oh!! HongBin-ah!”

He jumped at the sound of his name and turned around, relaxing when he spotted HakYeon trotting up to him. HakYeon had abandoned TaekWoon in a barbershop for a quick phone call outside when he spotted the wide-eyed youth ambling his way along the sidewalk.

“HakYeon-hyung, it’s good to see you,” HongBin greeted. “What are you doing?”

“TaekWoonie is getting his hair cut. You know he’s going back to work soon, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

There it was again, that seemingly-knowing grin gracing HongBin’s face. HakYeon narrowed his eyes. “I noticed it when I saw you before, but… why do you keep looking at me like that?”

“Eh?!” The kid’s brows shot up in surprise. “Like what?”

Is he not aware that he’s an open book? “You have some kind of sneaky expression…”

“Really? Ummm… I think it’s just because now that I’ve met you, I keep thinking of TaekWoon-hyung from before and how gross he was when he talked about you.”

It was HakYeon’s brow’s turn to jump up in surprise. “Eh?! He talked about me?!”

“Ah, of course you wouldn’t know.” HongBin crossed his arms as his gaze unfocused to an indefinite location. “Yeah, ever since he met you however long ago, he would never shut up. It was cute, though, whenever you texted him, and he worried about how he should reply or if he should reply right away. Ah, I feel nauseous just thinking about it again.” But he laughed lightly. “Sorry. I’m probably just crusty and salty because I’m still Mono. I just hope I don’t get sappy like TaekWoon-hyung when I become a Poly.”

HakYeon returned the laughs. “I’m sure you will, though.”

“HakYeon…? Oh, HongBin-ah!”

The two turned and spotted TaekWoon striding out of the shop looking trim and not like he’d been a vegetable for a few months. He strode over to where HakYeon and HongBin stood.

“Oh, TaekWoon-hyung, you look good!” HongBin commented. “Last time I saw you, you looked like a jar of pudding. Actually, you still look soft. Do you really think you’ll be able to keep up at work?”

TaekWoon threatened to smack HongBin, the youth flinching away. “Of course I will, idiot.”

“You’re not going to start running around as soon as you get back, are you?” HakYeon interrupted.

“Who knows? It depends on what calls come up.” Spotting a worry between HakYeon’s furrowed brow, TaekWoon jabbed him in the forehead. “Don’t worry.”

Who could blame HakYeon for worrying, though? Even when, a few weeks later, he was smoothing TaekWoon’s uniform over his shoulders, the anxiety bit at his soul so hard, he was starting to feel nauseous.

“You’re going back to work, too, right?” TaekWoon asked.

“Yeah,” HakYeon replied absentmindedly. “My shift is in a few hours.”

TaekWoon had already slipped his shoes on. “Okay. I’ll be back.”

“Wait!!”

TaekWoon stopped just shy of stepping through the door, glancing over his shoulder. HakYeon didn’t even know why he had shouted, but his gaze lingered over the ghost of the burns still somewhat visible along the left side of TaekWoon’s neck, disappearing under the dark blue collar. TaekWoon was still watching him, and he fidgeted, his eyes dropping to the floor.

“Um… Be careful,” HakYeon muttered. Lame.

He watched as TaekWoon’s feet turned to face him, and a hand reached up to the side of his face, gently tilting his head back until HakYeon was looking TaekWoon in the eyes again. He was still an expressionless monolith as his hand subconsciously wandered to push back HakYeon’s hair from his eyes.

The hand was gone, and two fingers jabbed HakYeon in the forehead, hard. “I said don’t worry,” TaekWoon said, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll see you later.”

* * *

The door opened. A pause. Then it closed. Followed by a voice.

“HakYeon…?”

HakYeon had never thrown anything down so quickly as he whisked his way to the door. “Yah, TaekWoon-ah!!”

He saw the lumbering idiot pausing as he toed his shoes off at the door, an embarrassed grin spreading when he spotted HakYeon.

HakYeon didn’t let him speak as he pounced at TaekWoon. “Let me see!”

His left cheekbone was already showing signs of an ugly bruise, a Band-Aid futilely trying to cover a shallow scratch.

HakYeon screeched. “Already!! The first day back, and already you’re getting into fights!!”

“As if I threw the first punch,” TaekWoon commented lightly. “The guy was drunk and had a weapon.”

“A _weapon_?! TaekWoon-ah!!”

“Yah, this is my job. I’m not gonna be jumping into vats of acid for the fun of it, okay?”

Huffing, HakYeon pulled TaekWoon further into the apartment and shoved him to the small sofa. “You’re a brat. Let me finish cooking.”

“Move in with me.”

HakYeon froze. “Eh?”

“You’re already here most of the time, anyway. You don’t want to?”

“I…” A blush rose to HakYeon’s cheeks.

“Wait, you said you’re cooking? I’m not going to die, am I?”

“YOU’RE A LITTLE SHIT.”

* * *

He could track every move TaekWoon made as soon as the front door opened.

The door opened. A pause. “HakYeon-ah?” Hearing no answer, the footsteps shuffled further into the apartment, the door closing behind. Empty living room. Empty kitchen. “HakYeon?” But the kitchen is where everything was left behind. The footsteps moved more swiftly. “HakYeon?” TaekWoon’s voice was a bit more on edge, gradually getting closer. Empty bathroom, but various bits were left behind there, too. Empty bedroom.

The door of the closet swung open, and HakYeon flinched, contracting in on himself and pushing himself as much as he could into the corner of the small space. TaekWoon’s quickened breath only barely relaxed.

“HakYeon…”

“S-sorry…” HakYeon’s voice wasn’t working properly, probably because he was balled up so tightly, his arms barring his head from everything outside. “I-I’m just… Something happened, and I… I’m being foolish, I know. I’ll come out… in a bit. Just…”

His throat constricted, and he couldn’t stop himself from shaking. He couldn’t relax his fingers from scraping against his skull, couldn’t unclench his jaw so he could speak properly. Why did this have to happen again?

A feather-light touch. HakYeon flinched like it was fire, but TaekWoon just slowly, gently pulled at his arms. His voice, almost too soft but solidly urging. “Come here.”

HakYeon’s tense muscles resisted at first. TaekWoon moved his grip to pull at HakYeon’s hands instead, persistent, and slowly, HakYeon allowed himself to be pulled up to his feet and slowly out of the small closet. His entire posture was hunched over, and he winced from the brightness of the mid-afternoon sun as he emerged from the darkness.

TaekWoon kept his hold on HakYeon’s hands, slowly running his thumb over a Band-Aid that circled HakYeon’s index finger. “What are you doing playing with my knives?”

HakYeon flinched again. “I-I just wanted to try. Trying to cook and chop with a spoon is tiring, but then I got nervous, and I accidentally nicked my finger, but I already patched it, but then I started freaking out, and I don’t know how I ended up in the closet, but – ”

He trailed off into blabbering nonsense, TaekWoon shushing him as he wrapped his arms around HakYeon’s shivering body. HakYeon buried his face into the shoulder of TaekWoon’s uniform, clutching the back. In return, TaekWoon slowly rubbed one hand up and down HakYeon’s back without a word.

“I’m sorry,” HakYeon finally mumbled, still hidden in TaekWoon’s shoulder.

“For what? Being a crybaby?”

HakYeon tried to pry himself from TaekWoon’s hold, his bottom lip pushing up to a pout. “I am _not_ …”

Chuckling, TaekWoon lifted HakYeon’s chin and leaned in to bring their lips together, not even hesitating in the slightest.

Surely, if HakYeon wasn’t still being held up by TaekWoon, he would’ve flopped to the floor much like a sack of potatoes. Instead, he held on tighter and minutely pushed for more, grateful as TaekWoon did the same.

He was breathless when they finally broke, and he could feel as his cheeks heated up. Words were beyond him as he looked up into TaekWoon’s eyes. How was it even possible? The colors were more vibrant than ever, almost pulsing. Surely, TaekWoon would’ve noticed the deep shade his cheeks were, but HakYeon was fairly brain dead. TaekWoon just smiled as he brushed the hair out of HakYeon’s eyes.

“Come on,” TaekWoon said. “I’ll cook.”

He dragged HakYeon out of the room to perch on the sofa so he could pick up where HakYeon left off in the kitchen. HakYeon still balled himself up into the corner of the sofa to ride out the rest of his emotional rollercoaster. TaekWoon brought the food to him, and they both tried to not make a mess. TaekWoon was a better cook than HakYeon by light years; why did he even let HakYeon play in the kitchen?

After the dishes and leftovers were put away, TaekWoon joined HakYeon on the sofa again, pulling him down to lay on his chest. HakYeon attached himself instantly, pressing his ear to listen to the deep heartbeat. With each drum, the colors pulsed. The dark blue of TaekWoon’s crisp uniform. The faint pink in TaekWoon’s hands from washing the dishes under warm water. The cream of the walls around them.

The colors were there. And TaekWoon was with him.


End file.
